[Bothered11]

Am I wrong to be upset with my sibling? Our father's sister died and her funeral is going to be this weekend. My sibling who lives several hours away is having a their child's birthday party. I texted siblings about funeral info and the first statement was about whether parents are coming their child's birthday party. Then another text about how much her child really wanted them there. My mother is now so worried about hurting child's feelings that she is talking about going to party by herself and leaving father here to attend his sisters funeral. Another sibling that lives near this sibling says they are not coming to funeral so this sibling does not get mad at them. It makes me so upset. My mother is now upset with me because she says I have no sympathy for anyone when I told her it was wrong for my sibling to act that way and she should stay for funeral. Parents were planning on going later in the day or next day they would not make it in time for party. I really needed some place to vent. Also want to know if I am being unreasonable to think that siblings are being selfish.

[A Red Panda]

Well, what has your sibling actually said to your mom?

Personally, I would believe that your mom should be prioritizing the funeral to support your dad. But the birthday party staying on is fine, and it's ok for your siblings to not attend the funeral if they weren't very close with your aunt and live quite a ways away.

I'm not sure why your mom would call you selfish for wanting to support your father on a one-time thing as opposed to a birthday party, which quite frankly, is something for kids and the adults there aren't really all that participatory.