[elin95]

Yesterday I was celebrating NYE with my family and some friends from my family. There was this man( probably in his 50s ) and he said: you are 19 years old, why are you here and not out there partying? So I be like: not all young people like to party and so. And he was like: well I don't know anyone from your age that doesn't party.

I felt so angry and sad. Why does your age needs to force you to do things that I don't like? I'm more of the introvert type, I love to read books and sometimes go to the cinema with someone but not too often. I just like to be alone. Why don't people accept that? Just because I'm 19, does it mean that I have to go to party what I don't like at all. I don't like hard music, dancing and lots of people , crowded and so. Is that so bad?

[sideblinded]

Hi elin95

You sound pretty normal to me. At your age I was more interested in school and partying wasn't what I wanted to do either. I think you are really smart and doing the things that you like to do is just fine. Do not be pressured by your peers. You already know what you like so many others your age are far behind you on that. Keep being yourself and don't cave in. Seek what makes you happy.

Best wishes!

[A Red Panda]

If he's in his 50s, how does he know so many teenagers to be able to pass judgement like that? That's rather ridiculous of him.

I'm sorry he made you feel crappy. I wasn't a huge partier either - although I did enjoy house parties.

[gayleggg]

Originally Posted by elin95

Yesterday I was celebrating NYE with my family and some friends from my family. There was this man( probably in his 50s ) and he said: you are 19 years old, why are you here and not out there partying? So I be like: not all young people like to party and so. And he was like: well I don't know anyone from your age that doesn't party.

I felt so angry and sad. Why does your age needs to force you to do things that I don't like? I'm more of the introvert type, I love to read books and sometimes go to the cinema with someone but not too often. I just like to be alone. Why don't people accept that? Just because I'm 19, does it mean that I have to go to party what I don't like at all. I don't like hard music, dancing and lots of people , crowded and so. Is that so bad?

Remember that this is just this mans experience. I know a lot of people of all ages that don't like to party. And what you were doing with your family would in my opinion be one of the best ways to bring in the new year.

I even like to go out to eat and site see on my on. My husband, however cannot understand how I would choose to do things alone. I've learned to like my on company and find I can focus more on what's going on around me if I'm alone. I don't like crowds either and never have. They make me anxious. I'm 62, but I haven't changed my style since quite young.

There is nothing wrong with doing things your way and not worrying about what some guy has to say about it. Just keep enjoying yourself in what ever fashion you choose.

[baseline]

Elin, Blow him off baby! He sounds like an idiot! Do your thing honey and be happy!

[Steiner of Thule]

It's not bad. It can get to you though because people like to make you feel like you're broken.

This is exactly how I feel. In terms of partying, the clothes I should wear, and the music I should like. The question is, why does anyone expect anything from others? Why can't we all just live as we please?

It annoys me when I'm told what I should like or want to do. I personally choose not to be around people who try to dictate my life.

[CosmicRose]

He was probably just trying to make conversation and didn't mean anything by it. From a 50 year old's perspective, all they know is those crazy millennials that like to party. I'm 22 and I didn't go partying last night, so you're not alone, the idea of getting drunk and throwing up with a bunch of friends just because the calender says something is to be celebrated, doesn't mean much to me.
I don't really pay attention to dates, calenders or times, they're all superficial to me.
So I don't make decisions in my life based on whatever the calender says, if I don't feel like it. Don't feel bad, try not to take those comments too seriously.

It's the same thing when your an adult and people expect you to drink alcohol at gatherings and I never liked the taste of alcohol and I rather have pepsi then a beer or wine .

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Originally Posted by elin95

Yesterday I was celebrating NYE with my family and some friends from my family. There was this man( probably in his 50s ) and he said: you are 19 years old, why are you here and not out there partying? So I be like: not all young people like to party and so. And he was like: well I don't know anyone from your age that doesn't party...?

Is this not a form of being passive-aggressive? Take no notice - probably just envious of youth etc.

[lkbun14]

I saw the title of your post and had to read it! This is something that drives me nuts as well. I'd definitely prefer to stay in and play a board game or just hang out with some friends for the most part. I'm a little older than you and I get the "when are you getting married/having kids" assumptions when I'm around certain people. It's easy to let it get to you, but I try to make light of it and pass it off.

[StuckinRut]

I fully understand what you wrote. I'm also introverted. I think that society does not recognise the value of introverts. Indeed, in my experience, introversion it is often seen as a fault that requires "correction". Whereas being extroverted or outgoing (as it is often termed) is seen as a quality rather than simply a different personality type. I'm not sure if I can post a weblink here, but there is a TED talk on this topic which you might e interested to watch.

[Artchic528]

Ya know, when I was a young adult, aka late teens early twenties, I was the exact opposite of a party girl. I was much more content to sit on the couch, curled up with a good book, rather than party. I found the activity pointless, not to mention it sent my anxiety levels through the roof. I'm talking astronomical here!!

Maybe that was the depression talking back then, but yeah. Parties and I avoided each other like the plague.

I also utterly detested the party scene because it usually involved drugs and alcohol, which I had absolutely no interest in partaking. Zero. I was a strange young woman I guess, but that's okay. I much prefer to be strange than some boring old "normie" any day. Life is more fun when you color outside the lines (and more colorful too, apparently).

Now excuse me while I get up and dance to a song playing in my head.

[Trippin2.0]

Simply put, because people are ignorant. That's why.


It's not so much to do with introvert vs extrovert either...


It's this whole "life timeline" that society has somehow imprinted into the heads of the masses...


When you're a teenager, people expect you to party. Apparently that's what all teenagers do.

(idk maybe some people get to skip that's stage of life completely then? ) Lmao


When you graduate HS, they expect you to know exactly what you want to do for the REST OF YOUR LIFE and pursue a degree and career.


Again... WTF


Soon they're expecting babies and wedding bells...


Personally I think its just stupid, we're not sheep and we're not all clones. We do what we want when we want and how we want. We have a beautiful thing called OPTIONS!

In this day and age, women still get funny looks for not having "snag a hubby and push out some babies" on their to do list.


As if not wanting kids and being ok with being single is completely unnatural...

I'm a 30 y.o single mother and have been getting the wedding bells / siblings for my daughter 3rd degree for the past decade! These have become quite "aggressive" in the past few years since dating my bf. Pfft


Now I just give them a disgusted look like I smelled something rancid and say " ugh! marriage is nOt our thing. We've got a good thing going, why would I wanna ruin that!?"...


After that they're usually too perplexed to reply and I walk off or change the topic.


People are stupid.