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The Fox & the Hound
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Angry Jan 07, 2015 at 02:24 PM
  #1
Ok... So , my friend has an obsession with Movies,& I believe it might be leading to explained here.

We've been having some issues recently... But, this was nothing too major, until recently. I try to talk other topics besides movies, but she doesn't agree with that . It's just frustrating. So, me & a friend tried to talk to about this. She can still talk about movies... She can still go & enjoy them. Just that we would like to talk about other things besides movies. But she thinks we are trying to control her. Fact is, were not trying to at all. She refuses to talk about other topics, I can't think of anything else, & it is all I can think of! She refuses to talk to me... If is say other things besides movies. Heck, I said I want to talk to about other topics, but I still talk to her about this... She was then acted like this "If I can't talk about movies to you. I wouldn't talk to you." I tried saying she can, but she's like "YOU CAN'T CONTROL ME!CAN'T CONTROL ME!STOP! STOP!" So, I really can not talk about this too her. Because she refuses to listen now. She is refusing to even be by me. I just want to say sorry, but I can't. She runs away from me.

Now? I look like a bad person. She ran away from me today in the hall, and people thought we were harassing her. No. We want to talk to her about this siuation, & I just want this to be fixed for once. I don
I have pointed this out, that we are not trying to control her in any from seeing movies, but she still believes that we are controlling her. She thinks basically everything we saw about movies is controlling, and really isn't.

Last edited by The Fox & the Hound; Jan 07, 2015 at 02:43 PM..
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Default Jan 07, 2015 at 02:49 PM
  #2
I was wondering if this is a phase that she is going through. Maybe she needs to be distracted right now and she doesn't want to face reality. Sometimes I get this way as long as I don't stay there for too long. Maybe you could give it some more time and maybe you need to ask if she is trying to escape her relationships. Best wishes.
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Default Jan 07, 2015 at 02:50 PM
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Sounds like she needs some help and she's dragging you down. I agree you should give it some time. Do you still want to be friends with her?
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Default Jan 07, 2015 at 02:59 PM
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she needs help, needs to be in control and is stiffeling your conversation to where she thinks you are trying to control her. i have friend like that and can only talk so long to her because i can't take it anymore. i hope you can understand, she has her problem and needs to address it before no one will put up with her. well maybe others will undertsand and just put up with her,as one can only do, especially a counseler and doc.
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The Fox & the Hound
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Default Jan 07, 2015 at 03:42 PM
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Yes, I do .

Well, she claims to not having anything struggles right now. Besides her younger, 7 year old sister.

She also has made claims(all the time, actually) , that she's always happy. She loves life,& everything about it. Everyone should be positive. Nothing negative,& she really hates any negativity. She was frustrated when I mentioned I have depression.

She says she never lies... But, she HAS, don't know why she'd claim that. I can't talk to her at all, because 1.) She'll ignore me. Even if I say something. 2.) If it's possible, she'll run away from me. 3.) She just says "Your controlling me, Stop!"

But... If I ignore, at times, it has made the situation worse.
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The Fox & the Hound
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Default Jan 07, 2015 at 03:53 PM
  #6
Another thing... She thinks she does nothing wrong.
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Default Jan 07, 2015 at 04:51 PM
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How old is she ? how old are you and your friend?

How long has this been going for? Did it happen gradually or suddenly?

Does she behave this way with others and not just you two?

Has she been like this before, then got better?
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Default Jan 08, 2015 at 10:47 AM
  #8
Quote:
Originally Posted by toolman65 View Post
How old is she ?
She is 17.

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Originally Posted by toolman65 View Post
how old are you and your friend?
I'm 17, and she is 18

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Originally Posted by toolman65 View Post
How long has this been going for?
The worst of this siuation has been going on since Monday, but I have had problems with for awhile. Nothing major. And, yes, it is due to movies.

Quote:
Originally Posted by toolman65 View Post
Did it happen gradually or suddenly?
Gradually. But, it then suddenly got worse. Before this situation, a few things have happened 1.) She has cancelled on me multiple times, because movies are her first priority. 2.) She refuses to hang out with me(or other people), if we don't go to a movie. 3.) Minor problems with her thinking we are controlling her. This is slowly getting worse.

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Originally Posted by toolman65 View Post
Does she behave this way with others and not just you two?
Not movies. But other weird behaviors. She absolutely hates my friend, she's Autistic, & some communication issues(asks too many questions & believe that's why she dislikes her. She has to see movies every weekend or she'll freak out, & claims she'll have "Movie withdrawals". She has been controlling in foods class, saying certain people couldn't do this. She also broken things, & burned people, by accident, but she never seems to notice.

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Has she been like this before, then got better?
Not not really. She is just getting worse.
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Default Jan 21, 2015 at 12:11 AM
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Is the situation any different now? How is she doing?
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The Fox & the Hound
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Default Jan 30, 2015 at 02:53 PM
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Nope. Same. More controlling actually.
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Default Jan 30, 2015 at 05:45 PM
  #11
Quote:
she's Autistic,
I think you have your answer to why her behavior is what it is......if I were you, I would do as much reading as possible about Autism & the behaviors associated with it so that you can understand her better. It's normal for them to have a very narrow focus & only want to talk about that thing (movies in her case).

Reading & understanding more about what she is going through & what behaviors are NORMAL for her will help in your understanding. You may not choose to be close to her because of this. It took me 33 years in a marriage & 7 years after I left to finally realize that the guy I married was on the Autism spectrum. Great, understanding helped with my anger toward him....it didn't help me want to stay in the marriage but at least I finally understood what caused all the issues in the marriage.

There is a good book (you can probably get it from the library). The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome by Tony Attwood. It not only covers information about adults who are on the spectrum but also about teenagers.

She does need help to learn skills to become able to function in social situations while it also helps for those around her to understand the way her thinking works. They can adapt some what, but mostly, their brain just works in a different way than ours & to have a close relationship with someone like that it takes understanding & the willingness (ability) to tolerate the behaviors that don't fit in with ours.....otherwise, the only solution is to keep a distance.

I always wondered why there was never any emotional connection in my marriage....I thought it was my fault until I learned more about what was normal for someone on the Autistic spectrum. Some people have an easier time getting along with them than others......we fought like cat & dog throughout the marriage because I didn't have the ability to tolerate his behavior after living with totally dysfunctional parents all my life....I was fed up by the time I got to my marriage.

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