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#1
Jan 11, 2015, 09:57 PM
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Ok. I totaled my car. Befriend came and waited for tow truck with me and paid for tow. Sounds great right. And that is. But he never asked if I was ok. He immediately told me I was going to get a ticket, which I didn't ( because I crashed due to weather ) I have fibromyalgia and he just assumed I would go to work even though I was in no condition to work. I had a migraine. He made a comment that his girlfriend (me) has him screaming every time he closes his eyes. And he had lent me his car while he drove his truck.Tonight I drove to his house and had him drive me home in the car bc it's going to be bad weather and his car is much safer in snow and ice. While driving, he just kept saying how much he appreciates his !@$$% car and missed driving it. Are you kidding me? I even said sarcastically, "I'm glad you appreciate your CAR so much." He still didn't get it. What a numbskull. I'm livid.
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Be like water making its way through cracks, do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, if nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. --Bruce Lee |
 hannabee, hvert, shezbut
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#2
Jan 12, 2015, 01:14 AM
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Yikes!
 That stinks.  I'm sorry that you got into such a horrible care accident. I hope that you are okay physically & emotionally. I have been in a couple of accidents, over many years ago (thankfully), and they truly can be very emotionally damaging. Draining. Scary too! Hopefully, your bf was pushing most of his fears away & instead chose to let anger out...because that's more socially acceptable to him?? Or, maybe he hasn't truly stopped to think what could have happened to you in that accident? I would recommend that you have a seat with your bf and share how you have interpreted both his comments about missing his car, as well as his lack emotionally supportive comments for you. To avoid switching your bf into defensive mode instantly, of course, try to make your remarks about YOU and how you FEEL. "I feel ___, when ____." Gentle hugs and best wishes to you! 
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"Only in the darkness can you see the stars." - Martin Luther King Jr. "Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve peace." - Author Unkown |
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#3
Jan 12, 2015, 09:55 AM
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I had a car accident and my boyfriend (at the time) drove a cab. He wouldn't come give me a ride home (snowy, middle of the night) or take me to work the next day. I think you are not doing so bad in the boyfriend department!
I'm sorry you wrecked your car. |
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#4
Jan 12, 2015, 01:02 PM
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Thanks you two. Yeah I have I about relationships with the I feel ____ when____because______formula. I love the guy and he's my soulmate. He's just frustrating the Dickins out of me right now. We're also planning on getting married and he voiced his fear that I'll deplete all his retirement and he won't have any money? What??? I hate to go shopping. It gives me a migraine.
__________________
Be like water making its way through cracks, do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, if nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. --Bruce Lee |
| shezbut
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 shezbut
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#5
Jan 12, 2015, 01:05 PM
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I had a bad car accident and felt really fearful of driving for a month or so! No empathy from H, so maybe it's a guy thing! Big hug for you.
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| likewater, shezbut
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| likewater
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#6
Jan 12, 2015, 01:10 PM
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That is when you need to SPEAK up....about having your needs met; if they STILL don't listen to you.......
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| likewater
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#7
Jan 12, 2015, 01:10 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Be like water making its way through cracks, do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, if nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. --Bruce Lee |
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#8
Jan 12, 2015, 01:13 PM
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Quote:
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| likewater
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#9
Jan 12, 2015, 04:30 PM
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Quote:
Car accidents are very stressful. It's really nice of your BF to lend you his car, even if it would nicer if he were less grudging about it or more verbally effusive. I haven't read it, but I wonder if this is one of those things in that 'five love languages' book or whatever it is called? Where some people do things (pay for towing, lend car) instead of giving verbal reassurance, which is what you want? |
| Bill3
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#10
Jan 12, 2015, 08:45 PM
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We talked about it. Apparently he doesn't love his car MORE just in a different WAY.
__________________
Be like water making its way through cracks, do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, if nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. --Bruce Lee |
| hvert, shezbut
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| ManOfConstantSorrow
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#11
Jan 14, 2015, 05:31 PM
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Quote:
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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