what should i do??

am too bad in keeping sincere relationships.i never open up to anyone.i have a bunch of friends.i enjoy a lot with them.but,i keep all my personal issues away from them..even from my parents.i hate to cry infront of them.whenever i have a problem,i act perfectly alright infront of others and cry like hell when am alone.i think no one will understand it my way.i trust no one.i have a history of SA during my childhood & teenage.i havent revealed that to anyone yet except my only close friend.i used to tell him everything though it was too difficult for me to talk things out.he used to support me at his best.i got severly attatched to him.i love him more than anyone else.i consider him to be my bro.but,he is much tensed about my clinginess & is avoiding me a lot.he no more attends my call.i feel like he dont love me anymore.he says he do.but i dont feel so.he is too good.i cant imagine life without him.he is the only person i feel to talk.i feel lost.always have thoughts of death. somehow i need his attention..i have a loving family.but,i cant love them the way they do.am tired of acting infront of them.now there is no single person who understands me.am all alone.is there anyway i can get him back?miss him like hell.help please

i'm sorry you are so sad, sometimes alot of people cry especially when their alone. I think some people just don't want to burden others or bring them down too, but maybe if you talk to someone you'll feel better. Give this person you're talking about some space for a little bit and maybe they'll be more attentive and understanding of you. It doesn't hurt to try.

i dont know.i just cant stop thinking about him even for a while.i dont want to disturb him like this,but cant stop when i see him online.he dont know how much he is hurting me.i have no one else.wish i could hate him.cant do that either.

what should i do to make him love me like before?

This is hard, really hard. I've been In almost the same spot(it wasn't clinginess that drove him away, it was extreme self destructive behavior). Really all you can do is give him time and space and wait for him to come to you. He still cares about you, I can assure of that, he's jsut having trouble dealing with your issues.

I understand though. I don't put my trust in ANYONE and hide things from everyone. A confidant is a terrible thing to lose.

am afraid if he will leave me for ever if i stop talking...nw atleast he talks to me sometimes to scold me..i keep on disturbing him being afraid that he will forget me.i dont feel safe with anyone else.today i saw him online 3 times & i cudnt resist myself from texting him.am finding reasons to talk to him.he just dont reply besides an yes/no.i just dont know what to do.life is becoming more and more depressing day by day.

Have you told him all this? Maybe you should. Let him know you'll give him space. Im gonna be honest, it may never be the same, but he cares about you and he'll most likely come around.

he knows well.he thinks that if we dont talk often,i might change.he dont understand how much it hurts me.things are not the same.it was all my fault to trust & love him.i have promised him a 100 times that i wont be a disturbance anymore.but i cant.am helpless.i dont know what will help.i'll try again to keep quiet.wish he'll come back

failing again & again