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#1
Jan 25, 2015, 12:25 PM
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Hi all, 3 years ago I was diagnosed with cancer of the tongue. I was in the prime of my life, fitness, happiness and had a great relationship.
I got through the cancer successfully, lots of operations and radiotherapy. My partner was supportive through everything. Depression took hold after this as my life was turned upside down. I have taken antidepressants had counselling and neither have worked. My partner and I have been having problems with our relationship for about 18 months now. I am not the same person she fell in love with. I find it difficult to enjoy life now, and I am quite content with a simple routine. This is mainly because I am always fatigued. Recently my partner cheated on me as I wasn't giving her the attention she wanted. I found that very selfish after everything I have been through. I want to forgive her but I am unsure if I can. I want her to be happy but I feel like she doesn't understand how my thought process and lifestyle has changed. She is always angry with me and blames me for her unfaithful act which I find extremely unfair. |
 Fuzzybear, gayleggg, ptangptang
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#2
Jan 25, 2015, 02:36 PM
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Yeah, it's not a good sign that she is blaming you for her actions. We each make our own decisions. It's not your fault she cheated.
I've lived through breast cancer and know how hard treatment is. It takes it's toll on the body and the mind. I had mine 13 years ago but feel that it has affected my life even though I finished treatment and beat cancer. I believe it still has a big affect on my energy level, even though it is better. Be patient with yourself, but don't take on the guilt for her being unfaithful, that was her choice.
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha  |
 eskielover
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#3
Jan 25, 2015, 03:20 PM
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I guess these are the times you start to figure out how you both get throught the good and difficult times.
__________________
“A person is also mentally weak by the quantity of time he spends to sneak peek into others lives to devalue and degrade the quality of his own life.” Anuj Somany “Psychotherapy works by going deep into the brain and its neurons and changing their structure by turning on the right genes. The talking cure works by "talking to neurons," and that an effective psychotherapist or psychoanalyst is a "microsurgeon of the mind" who helps patients make needed alterations in neuronal networks.” Norman Doidge |
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#4
Jan 26, 2015, 01:35 AM
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Quote:
The experience had to be traumatizing. It makes sense that you are experiencing depression. Perhaps give therapy another chance with a therapist that specializes in Post Traumatic Stress. -- as for your significant other... remember, SHE is in control of her own actions and it is narcissistic for her to blame you (or anyone else). - Peace! |
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#5
Jan 26, 2015, 05:46 AM
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Thanks for your support guys. Therapy I may stop soon as I feel it's wasting money, I need to find my own therapy. Why is she trying to make me feel guilty about what she has done. I never would have done that to her. Time to have a serious chat tonight.
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#6
Jan 26, 2015, 04:26 PM
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Im sorry for all that has happened. It's not your fault that she cheated and it sounds like this relationship may not be the best for the both of you anymore. I have extreme trust issues also and they make relationships incredibly difficult, but you have to be willing to talk it out if you still want to make this work.
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The difference between medicine and poison is in the dose |
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#7
Jan 28, 2015, 05:47 AM
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I don't we can make it work. I think she is up to something again. Leopards and spots.....
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#8
Jan 28, 2015, 06:30 AM
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I'm sorry you are going through this. I'm glad you are here - you will find support here. Take care!
__________________
“A person is also mentally weak by the quantity of time he spends to sneak peek into others lives to devalue and degrade the quality of his own life.” Anuj Somany “Psychotherapy works by going deep into the brain and its neurons and changing their structure by turning on the right genes. The talking cure works by "talking to neurons," and that an effective psychotherapist or psychoanalyst is a "microsurgeon of the mind" who helps patients make needed alterations in neuronal networks.” Norman Doidge |
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#9
Jan 30, 2015, 11:16 AM
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Update, we have decided to separate. It is for the best I believe. I actually feel relieved like a big stress has gone.
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| Anonymous37954, eskielover
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| brainhi, Mid-Life-Larry
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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