[justme8]

well i am not sure the way i feel and the way i act can be seen to be the same, i say i love my spouse and yet i am not so nice at all. i try to look at the whole thing and not keep any bad feeling and yet its so hard to let go when the same actions are being done,
its like this we were aware of the wants and dont wants from day one, yet the wants went to the side when they were to be put into play {for him}
i am 12 years older the he is ,and i am a person that believes in SAYING WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY and he has no room to say this is all out of left field , because i let it all known the first day we dated .
so when he is not doing the thing in life that just for himself to live let alone help us move ahead in life then there is a huge issues and i speak on it and how!
i and not sure the way it is said is best because we still have the same issues today as we had day one.
plus more. there are a lot more in a bad way like domestic violence and he has gone to jail and is now on probation and has a lot of things that need to be done
and is not being done.
there are plenty of plenty for them not to be taken care of but they are just this a cope out on his part.
in the 3 years we been 2plenty we are going back words that is not how it should go, we have lost a lot and the issues are not fixed so it brings more thing to deal with then he is either told to leave are he just leaves and this is one more thing that is a issues to deal with.
like i said the way it has gone is he has no idea of the meaning to the word owning the stuff you do,and cant seem to learn it. i am always on his but to do the things he needs to do and to fix the problems he has made but to no avail of them getting done. as i put this on this screen as when i speak of it all i do see that its not as if this will stop from the way it is and change for the better, you can not go back words ,although i do see this as a issue that can be worked on if both people want it even if its not in our favor to do so.
i just need to find a way that he will put the effort into the changes that must be made that he can hear and apply to do th unless it is not the way he want to be and in this case this is something he has to say to me and let it end that way the life i want can happen with some one else. he and i are doing no good for us are our selves so all this crazy ness has been causing me more thing to deal with and its not health are helpful at all to me are what i want in life, and letting go is not the oppidan i want either and i am lost to the thing that will be helpful for both of us.

[healingme4me]

it's like sometimes we give and give and give, even to the point of solidifying who we are. Actions types of people. Hoping that the sincerity in their voice is hope enough that they want to change, but something internal holds them back, they seem to get change must occur, but yet that 'aha' moment never seems to shine in....

Frustrating indeed.

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[Bill3]

What would you think of a different approach: get off of his butt entirely and leave change up to him. If he changes, great. If not, decide whether you can accept him as he is, or if you need to let it end as you stated.

If you are on his butt all the time, he might see you as basically another probation officer rather than as a partner.

[justme8]