Pros and Cons

Rhapsody · Feb 07, 2015 at 09:20 PM

What to do when you make a pros and cons list on your 30 year marriage and the cons win? - feeling lost.

jelly-bean · Feb 07, 2015 at 11:17 PM

Maybe the mood you were in when you made the list had something to do with the cons winning. 30 years is a long time so you must have something going for you. Make a new list when you are in a different mood and see how it comes out.

Rhapsody · Feb 07, 2015 at 11:34 PM

That's possible. ... I will revisit the list in a few days, but I have to say the con list has been getting longer over the years.

Parley · Feb 08, 2015 at 01:00 AM

Maybe hang the list on the bedroom mirror? Of course~ this would only work if you're still sharing your marital bed.

I'm sure it isn't easy but hopefully you have someone to talk to.

Rhapsody · Feb 08, 2015 at 04:59 AM

Yes, we are still sharing the same bed and bathroom. ... just different sides now.

avlady · Feb 08, 2015 at 08:46 AM

are you wanting to leave? maybe you're thinking of the bad things because you want to.

healingme4me · Feb 08, 2015 at 02:54 PM

He's not open to discussion, is he? I like the idea of displaying, however, could turn into an all out viscious retort, if not careful. I don't believe you'd have made this list if you weren't feeling so hurt. 30 years is, indeed, a long time invested. Where's the him that proposed to get you into this marriage in the first place? Granted life changes couples, however, where is the friendship piece?

Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk

Rhapsody · Feb 08, 2015 at 07:55 PM

I made the list to try and help me see if staying or leaving was my best option. I am really searching for answers in a difficult situation.

Jenny25 · Feb 09, 2015 at 08:01 AM

Maybe you was depressed while making the list. Try to make it again later

Rhapsody · Feb 12, 2015 at 05:24 AM

I am feeling much better and yet my CON list keeps getting longer..... therefore, I was wonder if maybe other married or long term couples would share the PROS in the relationship and maybe it might spark some ideals in my own heart and mind?

This is my PRO LIST so far - in no particular order.

1. Love
2. Financial Support
3. Having some one close at night.
4. Granddaughter has her grandparents
5. My Family stays intake and together
6. Always have a nice roof over my head

......cons list has about 17 things on it.

Rhapsody · Feb 23, 2015 at 03:44 PM

Its been 11 days since I made this post. I've had time to calm down emotionally and for the DID alter in me that was triggered by all this drama to retreat. I am feeling much better and back in love with my husband of 30 years. While things are not prefect I am happy and we are trying...... Thank you for letting us vent.

Menu

My Support Forums - Mental Health Support Groups

Get emotional support and friendship from others like you!

Pros and Cons

My Support Forums

Rhapsody Wise Elder Member Since Jan 2006 Location: Florida Posts: 9,946 18 1 hugs given	Feb 07, 2015 at 09:20 PM #1 What to do when you make a pros and cons list on your 30 year marriage and the cons win? - feeling lost.
	Reply With Quote

jelly-bean Magnate Member Since Aug 2012 Location: Arizona Posts: 2,564 11 976 hugs given	Feb 07, 2015 at 11:17 PM #2 Maybe the mood you were in when you made the list had something to do with the cons winning. 30 years is a long time so you must have something going for you. Make a new list when you are in a different mood and see how it comes out.
	Reply With Quote

Rhapsody Wise Elder Member Since Jan 2006 Location: Florida Posts: 9,946 18 1 hugs given	Feb 07, 2015 at 11:34 PM #3 That's possible. ... I will revisit the list in a few days, but I have to say the con list has been getting longer over the years.
	Reply With Quote

Parley Poohbah Member Since Apr 2014 Location: USA Posts: 1,092 10	Feb 08, 2015 at 01:00 AM #4 Maybe hang the list on the bedroom mirror? Of course~ this would only work if you're still sharing your marital bed. I'm sure it isn't easy but hopefully you have someone to talk to. __________________ I pray that I am wrong, while fighting to prove I'm right. Me~ Myself~ and I .
	Reply With Quote

Rhapsody Wise Elder Member Since Jan 2006 Location: Florida Posts: 9,946 18 1 hugs given	Feb 08, 2015 at 04:59 AM #5 Yes, we are still sharing the same bed and bathroom. ... just different sides now.
	Reply With Quote

avlady Wise Elder Community Liaison Member Since Jan 2013 Location: angola ny Posts: 9,786 (SuperPoster!) 11 28.8k hugs given	Feb 08, 2015 at 08:46 AM #6 are you wanting to leave? maybe you're thinking of the bad things because you want to.
	Reply With Quote

Rhapsody Wise Elder Member Since Jan 2006 Location: Florida Posts: 9,946 18 1 hugs given	Feb 08, 2015 at 07:55 PM #8 I made the list to try and help me see if staying or leaving was my best option. I am really searching for answers in a difficult situation.
	Reply With Quote

Jenny25 New Member Member Since Feb 2015 Location: Poland Posts: 2 9	Feb 09, 2015 at 08:01 AM #9 Maybe you was depressed while making the list. Try to make it again later
	Reply With Quote

Rhapsody Wise Elder Member Since Jan 2006 Location: Florida Posts: 9,946 18 1 hugs given	Feb 23, 2015 at 03:44 PM #11 Its been 11 days since I made this post. I've had time to calm down emotionally and for the DID alter in me that was triggered by all this drama to retreat. I am feeling much better and back in love with my husband of 30 years. While things are not prefect I am happy and we are trying...... Thank you for letting us vent.
	Reply With Quote