Forced into loneliness?

I'm almost 27 and I've never had a girlfriend or dated anyone. Now most girls around my age have already had their share of dating experiences and would not want to date someone with my lack of experience, whereas it is not socially acceptable for me to date women under 22-23, who are probably the ones best suited for me. So who exactly am I supposed to date? Am I supposed to stay lonely? Sure there may be SOME girls my age in my position, but chances are I will not find them attractive and will not want to date them.

IT IS socially acceptable to date women younger than 22-23 if you are 26. You already asked that before and everyone told you: it is fine. My nephew is 25 and his girlfriend is 20. No one blinks an eye and they are very serious already. No one cares.

You aren't dating due to some other issues: social skills or whatever is preventing you. Nothing to do with age. Have you asked anyone out? You said you liked someone in your gym.

If you don't ask anyone out you'll never date. Please seek therapy to help you with social skills

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I think you posted this before....

Are you from Daily Strength? The guy who got banned repeatedly for posting pretty much this exact same story and then arguing with everyone about it?

You must not be paying attention, because I replied to your previous post, and yes I am the guy from Daily Strength and yes if someone dares to judge me for being attracted to younger women, I will argue and I will show no respect for their intolerance.

Nobody judges you on here for liking younger girls. You were repeatedly told that it is fine. You sound as you argue with yourself as no one else is arguing with you. You have some type of problem that you are failing to address properly so you just argue about something that nobody even objects to! Are you in therapy?

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Nobody on here has judged me for it, but I know that the mainstream majority does not approve and many would openly judge me in real life and many have when I opened this subject on other websites, including Daily Strength.

With regards to your nephew, I am surprised if he actually doesn't get disapproval for that. I guess it's one of those gray areas. I know if the girl was 19 he would get a lot of hate though. However, as the guy gets older than 25, the stigma becomes much much bigger. A 27 year old dating a 20 year old would certainly not be socially acceptable, and by the time you're 29-30, you can't get away with dating a 22-23 year old.

Yes I'm in the process of switching therapists now.

I view the appropriateness of a relationship based more on someone's "life stage".

If someone is in college and they start to show interest in someone who is in highschool, then that's not cool. But if both people are college age or working age then there isn't a problem with it.

A person is not defined by whether they're in college or working. I am "working age" but I don't see anything wrong with me dating a college girl. I relate more to college girls, since most girls past college age are looking to settle down and get married.

My "life stage" is defined more by the fact that I haven't yet had the chance to date anyone. But people never take that into consideration, they just mindlessly regurgitate "you shouldn't date a girl who's in college because you're a grown man with a career" like that even matters! I think that proves it has nothing to do with "life stage" and what it's really about is that women get jealous when men date younger women!

I don't think it matters as long as the person you're trying to date is the age of consent.

I also don't know where you got the idea that a 29 year old can't date 22-23? One of my really good friends married a guy who was 6-7 years older and they're doing well together. I think age gaps between couples is really common. People usually have more opinions if there's an age gap of something like 10+ years, but honestly it shouldn't matter. It matters if you're happy in the relationship and your partner feels the same way.

I really don't understand the point of exact identical thread about exactly same thing. So what do you want us to tell you? You are not dating and never had and that is the true issue (inability to build relationship and lack of social skills) not liking young girls or what not. Address real issue already!!!!

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She was 19 when they started dating!!!!!

They have been together for a bit over a year. He works full time and is finishing his degree in few month, he is an engineer. She is in her 3rd year of college.

You aren't dating and that is true issue! What do you want us to tell you?

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This is the second thread about that same topic, he has problems with social awkwardness and lack of interpersonal skills and can't ask a girl out. That something one needs to work on with professional help, going on and on about some perceived prejudice is pointless!

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What is ' Daily Strength'.

some other forum op was banned from because of arguments with other members

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More importantly, what exactly is the point of an identical thread?


Why not just continue to do whatever this is, over on the original thread?





I honestly don't even know what this is and I'm pretty intelligent.


Is this like an interrogation tactic?


Except in this upside down scenario the interrogator constantly repeats himself until we actually disagree with him, thus telling him exactly what he wants to hear...

ETA:

Shadix, nobody's age is forcing you to be lonely, not yours or any hypothetical girl's age.


You not asking anyone out on a date is causing your loneliness.


Instead of addressing the actual issue, you're creating imaginary road blocks with imaginary girls. By doing this, you are causing more unnecessary time to pass, thus giving your current delusion more power as you grow older.


Because guess what, when you're 40 and still in the same dateless boat, well then yes, some people will have hang-ups' about you dating a 19 year old, even if you still feel 19 mentally.


So either ask a girl out, or wait till you're middle aged so the world can FINALLY disagree with you wanting to date a young girl.


Your choice.

There are several posters like that. Post same thing on and on everyone disagrees with them they get angry then vanish then they reappear again with the same thing. Don't know what's the deal

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Yes it's true that there is more than just the age thing preventing me from dating, but it is becoming a pretty big issue. The main issue I am having is that it is often very difficult to tell a girl's age just by looking at her. For example 21-22 year olds are often physically indistinguishable from 17 year olds. So whenever I see a girl I would like to talk to, and she looks like she's around that age, there is always this fear that she might be too young. I know that if that turned out to be the case, I would be labeled as a creepy pervert and if word of it got out, my reputation would be destroyed. It is very telling that if a guy my approached a 16-17 year old girl thinking she was 18-21, people do not take that as an acceptable excuse. That is because they don't think we should be approaching 18-21 year olds anyways!

You are preoccupied with hypothetical situations that aren't even real. If seems that everybody gave up on your threads and I am about to follow their lead. None of this makes sense

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It's entirely possible that this isn't as obvious as it seems.

There are some cognitive distortions going on that need to be addressed. Your perceptions have been skewed somehow and I think it would benefit you to find out how this happened...

It's been discussed in depth on his previous threads with multiple suggestions given by many people. Nothing came out of it so now new thread about same thibg

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I am aware of that.
I am making an observation that perhaps it goes deeper than a relationship problem.

Sure. He himself said he suspects he has ASD. I don't support self diagnosis but regardless he needs professional help

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Ok, I'm not sure where my cognitive distortions are. Is it how big I think the age difference has to be before it's unacceptable? I mean, we can all agree that a 35 year old dating a 20 year old would not be accepted by the mainstream majority, right? How about 30 year old? Can we agree that the same would apply to a 30 year old dating a 20 year old? 29? 28? 27? When does it become unacceptable by mainstream standards?

Your primary distortion is perhaps perceiving something is there when it is NOT.

One distortion is preoccupation with what's other think, no one would even care who you are dating or that people give any time of the day to bother with this. I don't care who others date, I have my own issues to deal with. And the rest of the world operates just the same, they don't care. The only reason anyone even discusses it is because you keep bringing it up and argue about it.

I think second distortion might be that you refuse to face the true issue snd keep hiding behind some perceived issues that aren't true. You will never heal if you don't face reality.

Then you imagine perceived prejudices and discriminations when there NONE. It is a sign of possible distortion.

Now what do you care what's good age for 35 year old to date? You aren't dating anyone of any age and you need to seek help so you can start asking girls out rather than just talking about made up issues.

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One thing I should point out is that the issue is not so much other people caring, it is more about the girls I would like to date ruling me out as a dating partner because society has taught them that it is not ok for them to date guys my age. If you ask me, that's a pretty big road block.