[whiteroses40]

Hi All-

My father passed years ago. He was depressed and angry soul who drank and beat my mother throughout my childhood. A year ago my mother disclosed to me in front of my cousin that she never really loved my father despite being with him for over 40 years. My mother and I have never been close so when I went for a visit and she mentioned that she never loved my father I found it to be almost out of place. Why would you disclose that information to the very child that resembles and even at times acts like her father at times (minus the drinking and angry behavior) I was fortunate enough to inherit all his good qualities and not inheriting the terrible parts of his personality. I would appreciate any insight as to what would motivate a mother to disclose such information to her daughter.

As people age (I'm in my mid-60's) I think the emotion has a way of draining out of things to some extent. Perhaps she just didn't consider the impact a statement like this would have on you. It was, perhaps, thoughtless... but not malicious in intent.

I agree with Skeezyks. I don't think it was malicious.

It's doubtful that she sees you as being like him. You yourself said that you inherited the good parts of him and not the bad parts.

I think perhaps it was her way of warning you away from men like him. I don't know if you are married or dating, so I could be way off the mark, here.

[whiteroses40]

Originally Posted by sophiesmom

I agree with Skeezyks. I don't think it was malicious.

It's doubtful that she sees you as being like him. You yourself said that you inherited the good parts of him and not the bad parts.

I think perhaps it was her way of warning you away from men like him. I don't know if you are married or dating, so I could be way off the mark, here.

You're both right it was thoughtless and not malicious, I just didn't have the right descriptive word to explain what I was picking up. BTW-I've been fortunate to have married a great guy. Thank you both, I always feel like I have an emotional family on Psychcentral.

Originally Posted by whiteroses40

You're both right it was thoughtless and not malicious, I just didn't have the right descriptive word to explain what I was picking up. BTW-I've been fortunate to have married a great guy. Thank you both, I always feel like I have an emotional family on Psychcentral.

Then I am one hundred percent sure that it was her way of making sure that you are safe in your relationship. Just telling you not to stand for what she did...
Hard for me to explain, too...but I have daughters and I think I would say the same as she did.

Hugs to you.