[TheEbonyEwe]

The hubs and I are having issues with some neighbors. We really like them, but every time we invite them over, or go out to eat with them, they will stay way too long; like 5-6 hours! Last week, I had them over for lunch at 1130 ...and they stayed till 5 in the evening!

They don't take hints, and I even tried gathering the dishes together and standing there saying, "Well, thanks for coming to lunch, but I have to go do this/that.". ...and the wife said, "Oh, we'll wait till you get back."
I'm looking at my husband and he's says, "Well, it's getting late and we got things we need to do". And they still won't take a hint.

We have gone out to eat with them before; met at 5:30 and they stayed until 8pm...closing time. I kept trying to leave, saying the kid had homework, and we needed to take the dog out, and they were like, "Ohhhhh, you have to leave so soon?"
I don't know why they think dinner dates are supposed to last so long.

Aside from being terribly rude, I don't know what to do. Anyone have any suggestions as to how to get them to leave my house sooner?

[divine1966]

I had neighbors like that. It was as bad as I would tell them I have to go to bed early and I would go put a robe on and they still wouldn't leave. I ended up being unavailable not answering the phone not ever going anywhere and limiting my time with them, eventually we lost contact. I can't tolerate this

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They sound lonely. Which is strange to say since they are in a couple, but I've been guilty in the past of overstaying my welcome just because I was desperate to hang out with people, and this sounds similar. I'll bet that they don't have other (or many other) couples whom they consider friends, and don't get out much. So they just want to hang out and have a good time. Or else this is just what they are used to in their friendships. Believe it or not, sometimes people do get together for lunch and stay all afternoon--just did that with a family friend last weekend. And sometimes people go out for dinner and sit and chat for hours--just did that with a good friend earlier this week. The thing is that these people have either been in my life since I was a fetus , or they are incredibly close to me. I guess I would suggest that, if they want to get together again, you be very clear about your boundaries. Give them a specific timeframe. "We can meet for dinner from 5-7, then we really need to leave to go (wherever)." Or just be honest and tell them: You really enjoy their company and want to continue the friendship, but you're having a difficult time figuring out how to tell them when you want to call it a night without hurting their feelings.

[hvert]

Don't invite them over and take separate cars when you go out. I have friends and one neighbor like this and it has worked okay for me.

[gayleggg]

Originally Posted by hvert

Don't invite them over and take separate cars when you go out. I have friends and one neighbor like this and it has worked okay for me.

I agree with this. Inviting them over after they have disregarded your wishes is just enabling them. They need to respect boundaries and you might have to be a little more forceful instead of letting the walk all over you. Taking separate cars and setting a time up front that you will need to leave should set things up for a better result. Good luck. I know it is hard to be nice but draw good boundaries but it can be done.

[avlady]

do you have to invite them to your home or do they expect you too? could you go to a restaurant? i agree with misskeena too