[silentmatt2]

I'm the SO (or ex-SO technically) of a woman diagnosed with BP1 w/ Psychotic Tendencies who broke up with me last year after an infidelity that took place at the beginning of hypomania that lasted 15 weeks until she had a psychotic/manic break and returned to my life remorseful/regretful wanting to make it work again. Things went beautifully for a few months as she stabilized but she broke up with me again in December almost identically to how she did the first time and the identical personality change I witnessed and subsequent behavior changes suggests to me she's hypomanic again. Correspondence with her Mother also makes it clear she's abusing alcohol and possibly marijuana currently.
It has been about 11 weeks, is she likely to come down or have a break again within the next few weeks like last time or is it impossible to say if she'll come back again? I want to believe it's a pattern and that she'll experience the same remorse because we talked about marriage and she was perfectly stable the first two years of our relationship, but is it more likely that she has left my life for good this time?
I know it's impossible to make predictions and I've done extensive research about BP1 over the past 10 weeks, something I should have done during our recent reunion so that I would have known the warning signs. If she does come back I'm committed to being a better, more educated partner while setting firmer boundaries and making a treatment plan with her. God willing I'll get that opportunity but I don't know if a second reconciliation is inevitable or a fool's hope.

[healingme4me]

If she's abusing alcohol and mj, it's extremely difficult to begin mentioning the bipolar illness and its patterns.

If she's blaming her illness without addressing the addiction(s), then she's not taking accountability.

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[silentmatt2]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

If she's abusing alcohol and mj, it's extremely difficult to begin mentioning the bipolar illness and its patterns.

If she's blaming her illness without addressing the addiction(s), then she's not taking accountability.

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Does substance abuse prolong the episode or personality symptoms of her condition?

[healingme4me]

It's like the onion analogy. Need to peel back the layers.

I've no idea about prolonging, it just doesn't help matters. Both can worsen depression and psychotic features. Both are self medicating behaviours. Clearly both are bringing about struggling in her relationships.

I'm baffled by why bipolar seems the predominant focus?

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[silentmatt2]

I think it's the predominant focus because the bipolar symptoms tend to precede the substance abuse as it is her illness that she's medicating with those chemicals. Prior to cheating on and breaking up with me in 2014 she had been off her meds for a month or two, it was after that event that she began partying. But it's a chicken/egg dilemma because it is ultimately alcohol/drugs that pushes her brain into full-blown mania and/or psychosis. I think both co-concurring disorders are important to treat and focus on as they feed one another.