I have a friend that I feel that she comes off as very selfish or only thinks about herself and can't admit to any wrongdoings. For example, when someone postponed plans with her, she gets very pissed off and assumes they are doing it to be rude, even if they have a valid reason for postponing. For example, a couple nights ago, one of Her friends had to postpone planes because her friend's friend lost a family member so her friend went to give support at the funeral home. Totally valid reason. She got very pissed and said she thinks it is rude that she did that and hates being ditched. I can understand if she was stood up for no reason and she got mad, but her friend had a valid reason for postponing and they still were able to hang out, just a couple hours later than planned and it was a sleep over so they had the whole day to themselves so she really did not need to get pissed. Meanwhile, the friend I deal with does it to me a lot. She will constantly stand me up when she is with someone else and say she just lost track of time but doubt that is true since she is always on her phone. We usually still hang out but much later. I just find it annoying that she gets pissed if someone does it to her, yet she does it to me. Also, if I ask her to stop doing something that makes me feel like crap, she gets mad at me and says that I am worrying too much and need to stop. Meanwhile she worries way more than me. Like, I asked her to stop constantly texting people while I am trying yo talk to her but then when she is with others, she ignores me. She got mad when I asked her politely to be more fair and equal. I am starting to think that she really does not like me as a close friend, if a friend at all and does not really respect me and I feel like she is very selfish and only thinks of herself since she gets extremely pissed and upset if she doesn't get her way. It is energy draining and exhausting.

[JJBX]

She sounds incredibly insecure to me, like she needs validation of her importance all of the time. Think about it - feeling that everything is a slight against her when it has nothing to do with her? Basically, friend decides someone else's feelings are more important than hers? The truth is, that person's family WAS more important than her. She can't handle, with her insecurity, accepting that some people are just more of a priority than her.

The best way, I think, to handle friends like that is by making plans with her and then standing her up. When she reacts badly, you don't respond until later to follow up that she does it all of the time to you and how does she think it makes you feel? She will probably get angry about that, but it gives you a chance to measure your response. Heck, maybe she'll learn to piece her behavior and others' feelings togeher. Just talking about it with her clearly hasn't worked in the past. If all else fails, she doesn't sound like any kind of decent friend to me. Hopefully she will learn to grow otherwise she will find herself alone in short order.

Originally Posted by JJBX

She sounds incredibly insecure to me, like she needs validation of her importance all of the time. Think about it - feeling that everything is a slight against her when it has nothing to do with her? Basically, friend decides someone else's feelings are more important than hers? The truth is, that person's family WAS more important than her. She can't handle, with her insecurity, accepting that some people are just more of a priority than her.

The best way, I think, to handle friends like that is by making plans with her and then standing her up. When she reacts badly, you don't respond until later to follow up that she does it all of the time to you and how does she think it makes you feel? She will probably get angry about that, but it gives you a chance to measure your response. Heck, maybe she'll learn to piece her behavior and others' feelings togeher. Just talking about it with her clearly hasn't worked in the past. If all else fails, she doesn't sound like any kind of decent friend to me. Hopefully she will learn to grow otherwise she will find herself alone in short order.

I totally agree. Now that I think of it, she does seem to not like it when other people are more of a priority than her, in the case of the family suffering from a death. I totally agree with you.

[~Christina]

Isn't this the same " friend" you have been needing to drop as shes only using you for a bit of a long time now??

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Isn't this the same " friend" you have been needing to drop as shes only using you for a bit of a long time now??

He's, I actually have started to put more space between us and once I graduate in May, I may never have to see her again. I am really only putting up with her so there is no awkwardness and so she doesn't talk bad about me to others.

[AngstyLady]

She's a classic narcissist, her time is always going to be of more value because she sees herself as better than everyone else and therefore everything is taken defensively and she can't be reasoned with.

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Isn't this the same " friend" you have been needing to drop as shes only using you for a bit of a long time now??

Yeah, I was going to say...this friend sounds very familiar.

Like we said before, she's got to go. If you choose to put up with her until school is out so she doesn't talk crap behind your back, well then how is it fair for you to complain/talk crap about her?