I got a lip piercing with a hoop and my fiance freaked.

I agree with everyone else: it's a huge over-reaction and like tealBumblebee said, it sounds like he is looking for any little reason to end the engagement.

I don't quite understand why some people make such a big deal about piercings. They're not permanent. They can easily be removed and leave little to no scarring. Most importantly, they don't change who you are at your core.

I will go with an unpopular vote here...

First of all I can understand the whole thing with independence/your body/he has no right, etc...

That said. He may have simply had a knee-jerk reaction to something surprising.

Also, you are engaged now. Your lives are about compromise, and he may have JUST gotten into the mindset of coupledom. And you doing something without seeing how he felt about it might have surprised the settled, two-halves-of-a-whole kind of view he's adopted and embraced....I don't know, I don't know him. It's just a thought.

I don't believe in being anyone's doormat, but TO ME...it would mean a great deal to my husband if, after a calm discussion of how much he dislikes it (as I said it may just be an initial reaction), I would tell him that I would remove it because I love and respect him.
He would do the same for me.

ETA, I have been happily married for approximately forever, if that matters.

I go with the unpopular vote, too. I don't happen to like facial piercings. I have friends and family with them and haven't ever gone all negative on them because it's their thing and not really my place to offer an opinion.

But I happen to find them a sexual turn-off. Can't help it. It's not a rational judgment, it's a physical reaction. Big sexual turn off. If my niece or nephew shows up with a facial piercing it doesn't matter because Auntie doesn't have a sexual thing going on for them. Pierce away and if I don't like it, I'll keep it to myself.

But if my H showed up with a facial piercing, especially a piercing in the lip, tongue or septum, it would be a major sexual turn off. A big one. I wouldn't like it one bit and I'd tell him. But he already knows I find them a turn-off because we talk about that sort of thing.

It sounds like you sprung your new lip ring on him without talking about it first and maybe it's a turn-off for him and you didn't know because you guys aren't communicating. Neither of you. You surprised him and he freaked. Neither of you stopped to talk before doing your own solo emotional thing.

Your lip ring and his disdain for it aren't the real problem. Not communicating well with each other -- again, both of you -- is the real issue that will make or break your relationship.

Hope you two figure this out and have a happy ending.

my husband told me that he was going to leave me if i got another tattoo. so i went and got another one....he's still here.

I agree that he likely over reacted, but did you tell him you were going to do it prior? Or was it a big surprise? I don't think that a spouse or potential spouse has the final say regarding what you do or don't do to your body, but a discussion prior is always a good idea. Plus, he is going to have to kiss you with that lip ring. Not appealing to me! But that's just me.

I'm going to agree that it's an overreaction with one caveat...

Are you two, for example, conservative or otherwise very much not the type of people who would have any kind of body modification? Is this something that goes totally against your societal norm? If so, (and forgive me for a kind of lame example, but I'm illustrating, here) I feel like it may be a Miley Cyrus/Liam Hemsworth situation when Miley was breaking her Hannah Montana mold. Liam fell in love with one person, and she morphed into another. I'm totally of the "your body, your choice" camp, but be aware that this may be your fiance's POV. One more thing: piercings can be expensive (I used to have a few, and because I went to a good shop, they weren't cheap). Whose money did you spend? If you're taking from the joint account to do these things, that may warrant a discussion.

That said, if you absolutely do not feel that this is the situation, then I agree with Christina; the two of you should sit down and have a discussion about boundaries and who makes the choices when it comes to each other's bodies. You have propriety over your body, period. Contrary to some beliefs, marriage doesn't change that.

Yeah he is very immature. Plus he's a mamma's boy. It's kinda a turn off. I try to forget about the mamma's boy thing cuz it seems like he really loves me and I didn't know that he was a mamma's boy until about 2 or 3 years into the relationship. I try and be understanding with him because he is the only child and he is spoiled by his mom and dad so it makes sense that he is a little immature and that he is such a mamma's boy but sometimes it gets overwhelming.