[amelialynn]

In the fall of 2012, my boyfriend of a year left me for his ex. While we were apart, I met a guy through Facebook and we instantly hit it off, talking nonstop for months. He lived in Florida and I in Ohio and he was planning on coming to see me. But things got complicated when my ex emotionally trapped me back in the relationship. After cutting off communication, I messaged the guy this past December and it was as if nothing had changed. But I was an emotional wreck trying to leave the relationship with my current boyfriend and put a lot of the problems on the other guy, which he took and listened to. But I think he finally had enough, I was all over the place and trying desperately to fix what I had ruined. I told him I should have waited for him and will continue to do so. Im stubborn when I set me mind to something. But I think I may have scared him off considering everything and how flighty I have been. And I think I came on too strong and possessive. My life has settled down though and my ex is no longer in the picture at all. The guy now lives in Tennessee and I will be there in a month for just a weekend. I want to finally meet him (hes absolutely perfect for me) but Im afraid Ill continue to get the cold shoulder and dont want to be rejected. Its obvious he cared for me based on his previous actions and the way we talked. Should and how would be appropriate to initiate the meeting next month? Or am I coming on too strong? Hes been ignoring all of my messages for the last month or so (about 4 messages altogether).

[manicattack]

If he hasn't replied to your messages, I would stop contacting him for now. He may contact you later (it has happened to me in the past), but right now, he's not for it.

Number one, he associates you with being inconsistent. He may not believe you aren't going to play the same back and forth game you did before.

Number two, continuing to message someone who doesn't message you back seems needy. I struggle with this- I know how it is. Being that in the past you guys had some sort of romantic relationship, I would believe that you still have hopes. Perhaps he is past it and has moved on.

Number three, from my own experience: maybe if you guys meet it will end in fireworks, or at least friends that have resolved the past. OR- you will leave sad, like I did. I drove six hours to finally meet a romantic interest and spend four days with him. It was awesome. We had fun, got along great, and made me feel like "Whew! Finally, we can move on from the past!" (similar to what you went through.)

I left, and it didn't help anything. He was done with my BS although he was okay with being friends. And still is. But he moved on and it's done. We rarely talk.

My suggestion? Don't pursue it. You're only dragging yourself down. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

[healingme4me]

Can you call him? Explaining that you'll be there, for a weekend? See what happens, from there?

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