My relationship future because of my mental illness?

The other day my ex boyfriend (we still are extremely close and intimate) told me that he's scared of a future with me because my dad had affairs, and my grandma has Alzheimer's, and I have ocd adhd and bipolar. He is very selfish at times and doesn't even take his life into consideration for our future. He said the reason that we are not together is because of my family past. I'm extremely hurt and feel that he's made up his mind that he doesn't want me in his future when many times he's told me he can.

Sounds like a load of bull to me, lame excuses at best.

He does not accept you for who you are. You are NOT your illness, but it IS a part of your life and it's either all or nothing.

I once had a close relationship with a man that did something similar. I was only 21 at the time and it was pretty detrimental in the end. I have bipolar I disorder and I was up and down a lot, on top of having drinking issues (that were well hidden behind the "party girl" front). He got to know me very well, and while we were close, we never dated and he would never commit to me. He told me it was because he couldn't trust that I wouldn't ruin things by being crazy or he would completely accept that I have a disorder that is unpredictable. I clung to hope but in the end, as soon as I wasn't around for his emotional needs or whatever, he forgot about me and no longer wanted our friendship.

There is a fine line drawn in these situations, especially dealing with people who do not truly understand or accept mental and emotional diagnoses of their partners/friends.

I would not invest too much into this, nor in him. It is hard (I tore myself apart for two years over my situation and still do at times), but I swear, it's a lot less tormenting to let it go.

OK I have some input but it might not be the easiest to stomach...

It is perfectly ok for someone to take a look at you and decide they don't see a future. Often times this is hard to do because of physical attraction, feelings of obligation and just purely caring about someone.

The flip side of this is that YOU also get to take inventory of the person you are with and decide whether or not you want to be with THEM. This person is judging you is that a quality you want to have in a relationship? What about the mixed signals? Is that something you can stand for your future?

I say empower yourself and really think about whether or not you want him in your life if he can just decide one day that based on your upbringing he doesn't want to stand by you - instead he says that but keeps you hanging on...

Maybe you should take some time to distance yourself and try and get back in to touch with yourself and your wants and needs. I am not 100% sure if you have the need to be supported by your significant other but it is certainly something you should know before deciding to allow this fella to decide the fate of your relationship.

If I were you I would tell him that you agree that a future together would be tough as you wouldn't opt to be with someone who judges others unfairly and sends mixed signals - see how he likes it when the tables are turned.

You have no relationship with an asshat like him.. Don't waste another nanosecond on his selfish stupidity.

He's using and abusing you!

Who the heck says, sorry we cannot be together because your dad had affairs?
Who says sorry your gram had Alzheimer's, so we cannot have a relationship..?

Oh, he does!

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