How do I deal with a VERY controlling person?

Hi every one....I'm in need of some advice. There is a person who lives near me who is extremely controlling and manipulative. This person knows how to play people like a fiddle and she knows how to get them to be at her beck and call. She uses a variety of tactics like pretending to be a victim of her situations and you're the only person that can help, doing favors for you (some that you don't even ask for) with explicit directions that she will be expecting a favor in return, calling my home phone, cell phone and text messaging repeatedly in a day in order to talk to me, and using language such as "promise me that you'll put my mind at ease by doing this" and "since we're friends I know you will do this for me", etc... The other people who live near me fall for this stuff, I on the other hand feel smothered and refuse to be controlled. Because of this, there have been some arguments between myself and this person. I've retaliated by not being available when this person harasses me by phone. I don't answer. I time my behavior to have little chance of running into this person. And when she's tried to pin me down with language such as "promise me this", I don't promise her anything. I give vague answers to her questions and I am never honest with her and give her as little information as possible. I don't feel that I can just tell her to "kiss off" even though I'd like to because I have to live near her and don't want that uncomfortable situation where I'm caught outside and run into her and neither of us speaks, but just give dirty looks instead. So I'm just managing my situation by passive aggressive means in order to keep her at bay. Even if I decided to be straight up honest with her and tell her to stop with her controlling behavior, I feel it would be to no avail as she'd just make me out to be the bad guy and her the victim since being controlling of others is her way of life. This person makes me sick. So is my approach to this correct?? What do you all think??

you have the right idea in your approach but you dont have to be passive agressive. just be honest when she tells you to promise something. say sorry, i am unable to do that for you. treat her kindly, be friendly and block her number from your phone.

I think you are off to a great start at handling this person. You can even consider it sort of a positive thing that someone like her is in your life. What you will learn handling her will come in handy when you deal with other takers who do come along in all our lives.

You have liberated yourself from feeling you have to go by any rules that she would like to impose on you. Good for you. You have absolutely no obligation to "be honest" with her.

I have a friend who is kind of like the person you describe, but less extreme. It used to drive me nuts. She would call and say things like, "Do you think you could find it in your heart to be kind enough to do this, that and the other thing for me?" (She knew I prided myself on being a pretty kind person.) She would show up on my doorstep, crying like a lost child? I mean . . . the drama was off the hook.

Now, I'm so glad I've had to deal with this person because I've learned so much. I've also learned that I don't have to end the relationship . . . just have to refuse to be a sucker.

These people try to use your own values against you. It's real clever, but pretty easy to see through. Now, I have no trouble blocking her. Like you say, you don't want to have awkwardness that will make you uncomfortable. You don't need to. You can feel free to tell her whatever kind of crap story you come up with as an excuse. She deserves no better. I endorse your approach.

I'm in favor of such sayings as "Oh, no, I could never do that" and "I will not be able to help you with that" and "I'm afraid that will be impossible." Without explanations as to why. And when the other person tries to wheedle, guilt me or otherwise steamroll me into whatever it is, I repeat myself.

Avoiding her is an excellent idea too.

You could also respond with "I never make promises I can't keep"

Hehe, then end the convo