[Heididazzled]

There's this guy that I work with who I really like, but things have gotten really awkward between us ever since I admitted that I liked him.

We've been flirting pretty heavily for the last couple of months, and he gets really jealous whenever a guy even comes to talk to me and would playfully tease me pretty nonstop around the office. I was so sure that he liked me!

I sent him an email a couple weeks ago hinting that I liked him, which he didn't respond to but still came to talk to me at work (he works in a different department) and kept flirting with me pretty heavily. Well, last week I figured I had a green light with all his flirting so I sent him another email pretty much admitting that I liked him and that I really liked it when he came down to see me, and he never responded.

Now when he comes down to my department he acts really cold towards me and things are seriously awkward between us. It's almost like whenever other women are around he makes sure to flirt with them as if to prove to me and everyone else that he doesn't like me.

I was so sure that he liked me, and now I just feel awful about myself like there is something wrong with me. Did I do something wrong? He was engaged to someone last year, but they broke up in October and he seems fine, and he's dated girls since then.

He really seemed like he liked me, and now it's almost like he can't stand me. I just don't know what I did wrong. How do I get over this rejection when I see him every day?

[Rose76]

I think you jumped the gun. It's obvious that he did like you, at least enough to seek you out to talk to. That doesn't mean he was working up toward asking you on a date, but good chance that he was.

It's part of Nature's design that males get excited by being in chase mode. The way things were, he was the pursuer and you were the pursued. He was enjoying it. I think you got impatient to find out what this might have been leading up to, so you stopped letting him be the pursuer. You turned and went to meet him half-way. ("Yeah, I like you too.") That seems innocent enough, but it may have taken some of the fun out of it for him.

It's like you said, "So . . . are you gonna ask me out, or what?" I can see where that was a mood breaker for him. He's turned off now.

Some men would have been real happy to get the reassurance of interest that you offered. He wasn't. He wanted you to continue being just a little bit of a challenge. You took the lightness out of it.

Above all, don't go asking him, "What did I do wrong that you don't come around me like you did?" Ease back and see what happens. See if you can resume some light-hearted flirting. Keep it light.

[Parley]

It was rude of him to ignore your email~ that's his bad, not yours.

Since he wants to be an ***~ I'd ask him if he received it. He might be a natural flirt and thinks you got the wrong impression. He needs to own it or he'll never figure out how to relate to you.

This misunderstanding could lead to a great friendship. I realize it isn't what you were hoping for but he's probably still rebounding from his broken engagement. Maybe he doesn't want to use you like that and that should be taken as a compliment.

Either way~ I see it as an elephant in the room and I don't play well with others. I'd be calling him out. Level the playing field.

I wish you luck and hope yall figure it out.

[Shadix]

My guess is that he likes you, but isn't interested in getting into a relationship. A lot of guys like to flirt with girls they like, but aren't looking for anything more. He is probably trying to not lead you on anymore.

Or it could be something else entirely. Don't know for sure.

[Koko2]

I'm terrible at asking out women, they always reject me that way, so my girlfriends have asked me out. I get freaked out when they ask me out though because it happens so seldom, I get a knee-jerk response to reject them even if I like them. Like one coworker asked me if I'd like to go along with her and her friends to a buffet meal, and I quickly replied no even though I probably would have liked to do so. I think I had in the back of my mind that maybe she was just asking me out as a "buddy", and I didn't want to be just one her buddies, or maybe I was worried about the group social pressures.

Maybe he does like you, but doesn't know how to handle the escalation beyond friends. But he doesn't seem too shy, so maybe he's just not interested. I'd just lay back, and let him initiate anything more. The ball is in his court after rudely ignoring your message.

It's a good idea to ask him if he received your message though to give him some jolt on the old noggin. Just say it real casually though, like you're just curious and don't care one way or the other.

[troubledinlove]

I may have the not so popular opinion here:

Maybe you misread his flirting. Often times people joke with each other and then build a rapport that is more comfortable than they would otherwise be with co-workers. I for example have a male co-worker who jokes with me regularly. He comes to say hello and see how my weekend was. This may seem as though he is flirting when the underlying truth is that while he is being friendly he is married and very happy. So his being nice could cause some confusion for me if I had feelings for him right? If I take a step back and put things into context he is just being friendly and although he does show that he enjoys my company he isn't necessarily saying that he enjoys it enough to pursue anything more.

Now, lets put things into even better context...you both work together so maybe he does enjoy a little flirting and a deeper friendship that just that of a working relationship but hte fact of the matter is he is a co-worker and maybe he isn't willing to pursue anything for the simple fact that it wouldn't be something he openly goes after (you know dating a co-worker). That is very reasonable actually...what if things went sour? You'd both be very uncomfortable if you were coming out of a failed romantic relationship for the simple fact that you both still have to see each other frequently at work.

Maybe you made him uncomfortable by telling him about your feelings and he is not ready to address whether or not he reciprocates. I personally don't think confronting him as to exactly why he didn't reply is the smart thing to do. If he is already acting a bit strange you may have your answer. He may feel terribly odd knowing you actually have feelings for him if he liked casually flirting with you and wanted nothing more.

See when a man shows you who he is and how he handles things - believe him!

Point in case, you sent him one email hinting that you liked him and he didn't reply. After a while he came around again and acted as he normally did (i.e. the flirting).

After not getting a response from him and him acting as though nothing happened you upped the anty and point blank told him you liked him as more than a co-worker and friend...and he again didn't reply and in fact is now acting odd...

He is showing you that he didn't particularly like or know how to handle the first email. He seemingly just skipped over it thinking that because you were ambiguous about yoru feelings he could go back to the relationship you normally have but then you send a very clear email citing your feelings and that kind of forced him to behave one of two ways:

1) behave as though he reciprocates your feelings and can no longer fly under the radar by flirting with you at work; or

2) behave in a way that is true to his feelings that maybe he enjoyed flirting occasionally but didn't desire anything more - this is tough because now he is forced to either tell you outright that he doesn't share your feelings or simply just stop his flirting immediately as to avoid confusing you further.

Have a bit of empathy for the fella and realized he may also be scared that this is happening at work...

It isn't a reflection of you or your worth it is just simply the age old battle of meeting someone and seeing if there are reciprocated feelings there.

Wow, even though I'm no expert when it comes to guys, maybe he's afraid of getting into trouble with a sexual harassment suit if he ends up getting involved with you? Also, has he always been flirtatious with other women?

If so, perhaps he wasn't really interested in you romantically. Maybe he just liked the ego boost and the attention. It'd be best to just ignore him from now on. He sounds like an immature jerk. He could've at least acknowledged your email and said thanks, I'm flattered, but I'm not ready for a relationship now or something like that.

Some men just love the chase. I don't know what else to say other than just ignore him for now and keep things professional. Maybe he'll start flirting with you again if he is just after the ego boost, and the thrill of the chase. Even if he does, keep some distance. Why set yourself up for further disappointment? Move on and forget about him.

[CosmicRose]

Don't date coworkers in the future. It almost always turns painfully awkward. That's why there's a rule about not dating coworkers, it's to save people from that awkwardness at work. I would ignore him totally if he's flirting with girls right in front of you. Either he's a player, or he's completely oblivious to how inappropriate he is.

[Hexagram]

He's secretly into dudes. Not that there's anything wrong with that.