Should I just let him go?

Has anyone here ever been in a situation in which they've had to decide whether or not you should leave someone who was good to you?

Im 17(turning 18), and I started going out with my first(and now ex) boyfriend when I was 15, turning 16. Our relationship was a lot of fun. We never argued, treated each other good, and really enjoyed being around each other. He moved(unexpectedly, so we never got to say goodbye face to face), so we broke up, and I haven't seen him in around 10/11 months. Oddly enough, we still talk. Now, I haven't gone to see him because my mother wont allow me (I dont have a job mainly for health reasons, and she doesnt want me to go because she believes I'll be “chasing” him, which I dont agree with...) For some reason, he has yet to get a job(even though it's been almost one year since he's left...is it hard to get a job working at a supermarket or even a fast food restaurant? Sometimes, I wonder....)

Sometimes I feel like we need to just call it quits (truly and officially) and maybe see other people. Im afraid to date other guys because there are so many jerks out there who will trample over a girls heart without blinking twice, and my ex would never do that...when we were together, I knew that he really loved and cherished me and thats an amazing feeling. I felt really safe with him, which was pretty awesome. We haven't seen each other in so long...it feels pointless sometimes. But Im so afraid to let him go. Im scared of what will happen if I do. I try to be strong, but when he says how much he misses me, and how he still loves me, it kills me...but I dont know what to do anymore. It feels like our relationship just isn't going anywhere anymore...

I have a couple of concerns however. I mean, he does smoke weed which im not a fan of, but never nagged him about.Also, and he's said before that he wants to be a rapper...I know it's possible for him to be a rapper, but thats a life I'd rather not live. Im a simple person (lol) and I dont want or need a lot of money or flashy things to be happy. Plus, he doesn't have a backup plan if the whole rapping thing doesnt pan out...that worries me. But other than that, he never hurt me, put me down or anything like that.

I dont know what im asking for exactly. I feel like we're both being silly for hanging on to each other for so long. But, im just deathly afraid to let ago...I dont know what else is out there. It seems like a lot of girls encounter nothing but jerks, even though there are good guys out there...Maybe im so afraid because I haven't met any other guys since he's left, so im not exposed to much...but still

Any help is appreciated. This has been on my mind for months...

As I type this, I can hear my neighbor rapping outside, he does that a lot.
As with any starving artist, having a legit source of income to get through the dry artistic spells is important. One of my old friends from high school teaches at an art center, to complement her passion.
I hear what your mom is saying about 'chasing', if you were to visit him. If he misses you half as much as he says, he'd find a way to come visit you.

I hear both a fear of missed opportunity if you let go, coupled by fear of what types of guys you could encounter if you do.

There's no rush for serious commitment anyhow. If someone wonderful were to come along, you sound free to move on, right?



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Thank you for responding....the thing is, I just dont know if I should. If I do, who knows whats out there--and thats terrifying, you know?

Why choose a drastic measure, at this point? Or is it just too all consuming? Is the communication preventing you(not him exactly, but the situation of being absorbed) from experiencing life?

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Hmm...I guess, I just hate living in this state of limbo...I mean, we're not together, but it feels like we never broke up either. I want to make a concrete decision because im tired of it all. Either we get back together officially, or we go our separate ways. Problem is, I just dont know which thing to choose.