[guilloche]

I'm trying to figure out if this is anywhere in the realm of normal.

My mom and I live in different states. I've written here before, it's not the best relationship (a lot of neglect growing up, with some trauma thrown in for good measure). So, we're not close.

She's going to be in my state for a family reunion this summer. So, she's going to spend a few days in my city (in a hotel), and we'll get together and go do some touristy stuff. That's fine. I actually was looking forward to it, once we established that she'd stay in a hotel, not in my tiny little townhouse with no extra bedrooms!

Now, she tells me she's bringing a friend.

This is really painfully odd to me. I'm not exactly looking forward to entertaining my mom's friend. And, I'm really confused by it.

Am I weird? Is this normal? When your parents visit... do they ever bring along friends? Or, if you have grown children, would you bring a friend (that they have never met) to visit them?

(It seems even odder that she's bringing this friend to the family reunion... but I'm not going to that, so while strange, it doesn't really affect me.)

I just need a little bit of a sanity check here. Thanks!

I don't know how old your mother is. If she's elderly, maybe she doesn't want to travel alone. That would make sense to me.

Even if it's not what you were expecting, maybe it won't be too difficult, since they won't be staying in your house. See some tourist sites, eat some meals. The conversation may even be easier, since they're likely to talk about their traveling experiences and you get to listen a lot.

If she wanted the friend to stay at your house, I'd say that was pushing it, since your place is small, but you won't have that to deal with.

But yes, my mom might bring a friend. She's old enough now that she might prefer not to travel alone.

[CosmicRose]

Is her friend a date or is it just a traveling buddy so that she doesn't have to travel alone like the previous commenter said? Since she's staying in a hotel and not at your place, I don't see anything wrong with it. It's probably just to keep her company since she thinks you probably won't be hanging out with her 24/7. It's not your job to entertain her friend - that's her job, since it's her guest. Just be nice and have a good time, that's all you gotta do.

[Trippin2.0]

My mom would and has, she likes the company, because she tends to feel a bit left out among all her kids (my dad has passed away) and having a friend around that's more her age is preferable.


Nobody thinks its weird when her friend joins us, she's not staying over with my mom, so yeah. That.


And yes, its different in a sense that we know her friend, but my mom doesn't live in a different state, so would be weird if we didn't know her.


You only don't know the friend because you live so far apart.... I don't find it weird, especially since she'll be in a hotel, would make the stay more comfortable.


I wouldn't want to stay in a hotel all alone either.

[Raindropvampire]

Whether it was platonic or romantic it's her friend and she can travel with whoever she wants. I might be a little disappointed that I might not get any alone time with her but I wouldn't let it bother me. Also at least for me I wouldn't feel like I needed to entertain her and would feel less pressure if she had a friend with her.

[unaluna]

Its what (us) old ladies do

[guilloche]

OK, thanks for the reality check.

It makes sense that she'd want someone to make the drive with. My grandfather was supposed to go with her, but decided not to.

It's just so stressful. Dealing with my mom is so stressful (I don't want to go into details again, I did last time I posted about her, it's just a lot of unresolved trauma - my therapist has basically said it's amazing to him that I didn't end up a heroin addict given how my parents raised me).

I'm an introvert. I was actually looking forward to her coming a little bit, since she was planning to stay in a hotel, so I could just focus on finding a couple fun things for us to go do together. Now it sounds like there's three of us, and I don't really do well with strangers.

Thanks.

[Seeyalater]

Just entertain your mom. Dont worry about anyone else. Unless you were planning on having quality time with mom.