I trusted my mom and she backstabbed me

I did something really stupid. I told my narcissistic alcoholic mother something that was very private, very personal, and very sensitive about my personal life a month ago. I needed her advice on the matter, and I foolishly let my guard down and confided in her.
I made her promise not to tell anyone, which she agreed. Less than a week later, my sisters both called me and told me that my mom had told them, and I also found out she told her creepy husband, and she gave my dad a very huge hint that I later had to try and cover up (thankfully my dad is kind of naïve so he believed me) but I was FURIOUS that she told everyone (and god knows who else she told) something that as VERY PRIVATE AND PERSONAL. It isn't just a tiny little embarrassing thing, it was a very serious private matter that no one else should have known about.

I am so angry at myself for trusting her, and I'm furious that my entire family and her friends know. She's a monster. She has been emotionally and mentally abusive to me my entire life, and because I'm so desperate for a loving mother I keep trying to trust her!

She is a continuous disappointment. I'm angry at myself for thinking I could confide in her about such an important thing.

She was NOT trying to help me by telling so many people, there would have been absolutely no point, she was simply trying to start drama and make me look bad and backstab me.

Both my sisters have already learned their lesson that they cannot tell her anything personal, because she will tell everyone. I've learned my lesson now, because I will never tell her anything ever again.

This might seem harsh because you don't know what she blabbed about, but just take my word for it that it was very sensitive, private, personal, important information that I should have never talked about to her. I am so angry that she has consistently betrayed my trust my entire life, and I foolishly keep giving her the opportunity.

Edit: By the way, when I confronted her about it, I said "Do not mention that to anyone ever again." and she said "Well I can't promise that, I might get Alzheimer's when I'm 70."

Any advice?

Sorry this happened...

Advice? never tell her anything more than your weekly grocery list in the future.

I'm so sorry that you were betrayed like this by someone so close. Some people can't keep secrets. My mother died of ovarian cancer and can no longer tell mine. Try to forgive yours while you have her. If someone tells you explicitly that they can't be trusted after 70, believe them and remember the date.

I'm sorry, that sucks. These are the kinds of things I remember when I think about when I feel guilty for not talking to my father. Sometimes our parents are really not very nice people. We keep giving them the benefit of the doubt, but when they keep proving us wrong...

Sometimes we hope things will be "different this time"....but I think you know that you set yourself up for disappointment, anger, and pain.
You never "need" her advice.

I am SO sorry this happened to you. I too have a mother that seems to always find a way to make situations worse for me. I think it is hard to know that a mother would intentionally betray you especially why you are hurting and need guidance.

You have learned your lesson, and I think it is wise to maybe seek out a friend who might be older that you CAN trust. Someone you know is safe...maybe even a therapist.

What your mother did was cruel and hurtful. i don't know if it is worth explaining that to her but please know what she did reflects poorly on her and her alone. What you are going through is private and she disregarded that as well as your feelings.

Hang in there and know you are cared for...

This is something that you could work on with a therapist. She/he could help you grieve the loss of the loving mother you have sought and yearned for.

(((((CosmicRose)))))

yes, you made a mistake by confiding in her, but now you know you can't so don't dwell on it and move on. not all parents are saints, maybe she couldn't handle it knowing something so personal as you said it was and she is being betrayed by the person or people she told too. we all need nuturing but if you can't get it from her, find a t who is sympathetic to your situation too. good luck

I think at the heart of all this, the repeated wounds that keep happening. i think there is a part of us that keeps expecting her to change. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.