 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Apr 27, 2015, 09:58 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Hi all I am new here and looking for some advice. I have commitment issues, I don't cheat on women or anything of that matter, but when I start to get close to someone I push them away. I recently ended a relationship that I wish I wouldn't have. Everything was going great she about to move but a couple weeks before that could happen I got all worried and broke up. This isn't the first time I have pushed someone away. Deep down I really do want a relationship with someone and would love to start a family. Just for some reason I cant seem to do it. Has anyone had this issue and how do you get over it. Thanks for any insight.
|
|
#2
Apr 27, 2015, 02:49 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Maybe her moving was a contributing factor?
Has this happened in other relationships or just this one? |
|
#3
Apr 27, 2015, 03:35 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
It's happened before, I usually do not get close enough to even consider having them move in with me. Just as I get comfortable I seem to push anyone out. |
|
#4
Apr 27, 2015, 04:30 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
When you broke up, did you have a 'reason'?
|
|
#5
Apr 27, 2015, 06:31 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
No actually I did not. Did it out of being scared I guess. I seem to never let anyone get close to me. Maybe afraid of losing my independence. I know that there's a problem. I really think best option is to probably seek out counseling and find why I am this way.
|
|
#6
Apr 27, 2015, 06:51 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Welcome to Psych Central (PC) dfin. Sorry to hear you are suffering from social and relationship challenges.
Some people choose talk therapy with a therapist. Others have a professional diagnosis with a psychiatrist to be sure of having a solid idea of what you are suffering from and the opportunity to see how your condition responds to meds. Many people who are actively involved in Psych Central find it helps take them out of their own problems to develop empathy for others. And their problems though still there are more manageable. There are lots of compassionate people here that can make the load lighter by sharing and caring. Feel free to participate actively at Psych Central. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.
__________________
Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
|
#7
Apr 29, 2015, 10:22 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
Welcome to my world! I don't cheat nor am I player but it takes very little to scare me off. I think my phobia comes from an extremely painful divorce 11 years ago. (I had no commitment issues whatsoever prior to that). I have dated very casually for years (since my divorce) and never got very close to anyone. Then I met a wonderful woman, fell deeply in love and suddenly I became scared (I mean really scared). I broke it off with her and I could not even tell her why. It made NO sense and we were both heartbroken. I then got to work on myself and found that I have relationship anxiety. It has been a struggle to deal with. My girlfriend was very understanding about all of this (even though our breakup was painful). We have since gotten back together but have slowed things way down. I still deal with the anxiety at times when I am with her but then I take a deep breath and think about all of her wonderful qualities. Taking things very slowly and being open and honest with her has helped me very much. There are some good books out there that may help you. "He's Scared / She's Scared" would be a good one to read. Give yourself some credit. You mentioned that you don't cheat. Lot of men are players (and you aren't). You are just scared of commitment. |
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
