[jgseattle16]

My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 2 years now. Before getting together I dated quite alot, however he did not and I have actually been his first for everything. Because he was never able to experience the experimental phase in life, he recently asked me for a break so that he could have no regrets in life and to have the reassurance that I am the one he wants to spend his life with. At first i was a wreck, but after some thinking I have been able to see the positive impacts this will have and I support him completely. With all that though,it doesn't change how hard this has been. I could definitely use the support, and thank you for taking the time to read this.

[divine1966]

I am so sorry and I know it hurts. I think when people ask for temporary break it is because they have no guts to actually break up. So they feed you BS.

Give it time to grieve and move on. Please use protection if you have sex with him

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[Trippin2.0]

So then hopefully this means you also get back onto the dating scene, instead of pining away for him, hoping he doesn't meet someone worth comparing you to.


See I don't get this logic at all.


Either you want to be with someone, or you don't. Why do you need someone else to compare them to before you can decide if they're who you want?


Sounds like he just wants permission to sleep around.


I mean I get the fact that he has no experience and yada yada yada, but how is that YOUR fault?...


While I'm happy to be supportive of you during this trying time, part of my support is urging you to go out and date some men while your bf is sowing his wild oats, because under the circumstances, it will be good for your self-esteem.


Unless of course you have the self-confidence of a goddess and know for certain he won't meet someone who will make him question whether or not you're the right woman for him.


Because that is the aim of his exercise right? Pfft


Also as an added bonus, you back on the dating scene gives him a reality check.


PS. I personally think your bf is being a selfish anatomical male part I cannot mention on PC.

[divine1966]

My big concern with going to date others is that people might have unprotected sex and then bring STD to their partners. I do not understand dating others. I do understand when you just start dating and not intimate yet but not two years later and when you sleep together.

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[jgseattle16]

Oh I suppose I should mention that we both are still virgins

[Bill3]

What will you be doing in the meantime?

How long is this break scheduled to last? Is there a definite end date?

[hannabee]

I agree with Trippin!! I do wonder how old you are though? Is HE really the one you want to spend your life with????

[jgseattle16]

We both have never been sexually active and there is no definite end date. In the mean time I am giving him space to do what he needs and focusing my time on art work and my job

[ChipperMonkey]

I wouldn't want to spend my life with someone who pretty much says they have to date (sleep) around just to be sure I'm the one (ie good enough).

If he were head over heels for you, there would be no doubt and he would have eyes only for you. He wouldn't want anyone else. He would just KNOW.

So now he wants permission to go out and find out if there's someone better than you?

I think the writing is on the wall. I think the relationship is over. I think that you don't want to lose him so you're telling yourself this is a good thing.

I'd tell him that this isn't a "break" rather this is a "break UP". Tell him that you will be dating other people and moving on with your life. Maybe later he'll realize exactly what he's lost, but do you really want someone who had to go out there and see if the grass really was greener on the other side of the fence, only to discover that it wasn't and that you're as good as it gets? (Read, he thinks there are better things out there but wants to keep you as a back up plan.)

Don't settle. You can do better than being someone's consolation prize.