SOS

well, yesterday a friend of mine admitted she likes me. i told her that i had to really think about it before getting back to her about how i feel towards her, and she understood, which was really nice of her. meanwhile, i'm freaking the **** out. i have never really had a successful relationship and also never had a same sex relationship before (i'm a bisexual female) and i'm going crazy with anxiety. i don't know how i feel towards her, but i'm lost on what to say to her if i turn her down. i've messed up relationships and friendships so many times that i'm terrified. help?

I would just let it sit with you for awhile until you really know how you feel. Please don't give up on relationships because others didn't go well. Many of my relationships haven't gone well either. I am just at the point where I may be ready for another relationship. You don't have to feel badly about yourself. It takes two.

Do you want to explore what you might feel about her? If so, you could suggest going out a few times and seeing what happens.

If you don't want to do that, then you can just thank her but say that you don't feel drawn to a relationship with her right now, you want to stay as friends.

In any relationship going slow seems in my sight to be advisable. Finding common ground is a good basis for a relationship. Finding out if the friend likes you as a friend or likes you romantically may take time to fathom out.

Is this her first relationship with the same sex? If so another reason to go slow. This is not a direct to romance situation.

I am not an expert, but if you are full of anxiety, that is a third reason to slow things down. Take some months to get to know each other as people. If you have a therapist talk to them about your anxiety. Sometimes that is the tip of the iceberg that keeps us from having deep meaningful relationships.

Do you feel a relief? That is the sign that things are going slow enough. If anxiety peeks out again, slow down.

Everyone here has given you really great advice and I couldn't agree more. I just wanted to suggest another forum Bicurious Chat, Bisexual Women, Bi Chat and Discussion, Female Advice

I'm on there as well and I have found it to be really helpful.