[PeachCream22]

So I’m in uni right now. I’ve just finished first year. And I really like this guy. But because of the law, I need to convert my religion if I really do get serious and end up being with him, as in marriage, which I am sure that I DO NOT WANT TO. I’ve told him about my feelings, and he feels the same way, and he is aware of the law, but he’s not forcing me to get serious or anything. He understands my point of view. We’ve decided to treasure the time we’ve had for each other in uni and separate once we graduate. Separate as in, not be together anymore, but still contact each other.

Is this a wise move? Or should I totally not invest in a relationship that has no future? I see no harm in enjoying each other’s presence while in uni, but at the same time, I think things will get really hard once we need to let go.
What are your thoughts? Anything is appreciated.

[Bill3]

It could be very rough to separate after uni yet still remain in contact. Staying in contact, if you have deep feelings for each other, can interfere with other relationships that may develop, or may prevent such relationships altogether.

I don't know how to advise you overall, but this aspect of life after uni might be worth keeping in mind along with the other aspects of the situation that you are considering.

[s4ndm4n2006]

I think the only real problem would be to pursue anything deeper than a platonic friendship while at uni if you have no plans to continue afterward. If you think you can really maintain a friendship with him without getting too involved then I say go for it but if you truly think it's not possible for long term, after uni, then don't let it get past the friendship level.

Only allow it to get deeper than that if you see a future with this guy. otherwise it will probably end up in a situation where one or both of you end up being very hurt and have a lot of regrets.

I feel for you... If I were in your position and did not see a long term future with this guy, I would not invest further time in the relationship. With that said, it is very important that you DO take time to seriously consider whether a long term future with him is possible or not. I understand the reluctance to convert one's religion upon marriage. But have you discussed with your boyfriend more details about what his religion is like? Will he or his family have certain expectations of you that you absolutely do not want to follow through? My suggestion is to try your best to make an informed decision. Make sure you really do understand what his expectations are of a future wife. Depending on where you're living, etc. some people may choose to strictly follow or be more lenient towards different customs and traditions related to religion. Talk to your boyfriend to understand it all from his perspective.

[ChipperMonkey]

So maybe you will get hurt.....BUT, I think its great to live in the moment and not always be thinking "OMG does this have a future!?!?" I think that too many people get caught up in this "future" stuff and in the meantime let go of meaningful relationships. The truth is that MOST people in our lives are only in our lives for a short period of time. It is rare that we find a lifelong friend or partner. Friends come and go, and here in the USA the divorce rate is sky high. So why not enjoy this guy while you have the chance? Maybe there is no future partnership between the two of you, but that doesn't mean that the relationship is worthless.

[PeachCream22]

Thanks for all your replies. I'm going to think really seriously about this. The thing is it's really sensitive, this religion thing, he's Muslim and I'm a Catholic, and some of the youth in my Catholic community have converted due to relationships they had, similar to mine, because of the country that we live in. I've always been grateful to my community because I've experienced a lot of love, and I don't want to betray them, especially the priests in my vicariate who thinks I matter and love me and pray for me.

In my head, logically, I just straightaway assume I don't see a future with this guy, but...realistically speaking, it's not that simple. Feelings will always be there and it's not going to be easy to separate once we were together during uni. But I'm just so afraid of the law and what they will do to us if I get married to him and refuse to convert. But at the same time, i feel it's unfair that religion is a barrier in my relationship.

I'll give it some more thought and come up with a decision, but I would appreciate any feedback at all in the meantime. Thank you all for your thoughts and advice!