[Hanz3000]

Looking for some help. I am 32 and have been in numerous short term relationships and always end them. I have no problem getting attached quickly almost too much, and suddenly I feel anxious about the relationship ending or fearful that the other person will not want to be wiggle anymore..I literally can't stand the negative thoughts I have sometimes. I need a lot of reassurance from my current partner but hide this problem well, in fact I present as very confident and independent, which I often am once I feel secure, for example after we've had a lovely evening together and we have been close. I have tried to work out where this has all come from and from my understanding of attachment styles and experience in childhood I believe that my personal experience in my adolescent years of being let down very badly by my parents has meant that I have developed an insecure attachment style. The problem is is that I have no idea how to not feel the destructive feelings I have, regardless of knowing that they are irrational. Does anyone have any advice?

[ChipperMonkey]

Have you tried going to therapy so that someone else can help you work through these issues?

[zable]

According to what you have said, it's very apparent that you have been suffering from commitment phobia. Good news is that it's something which can be treated rather easily compared to such other fear inciting disorders. As you have mentioned, most of the time people develop this due to bad childhood experience, children raised in unstable homes etc
try searching for commitment phobia and you'll get the answers.

[zable]

Another good way to overcome such fears is to build your self-confidence and self-esteem. The fear related to commitment actually lowers and over the time completely erodes your self confidence, and during times of stress you have nothing to cling onto, you are so unsure about your abilities. Start building your confidence and you will see it's positive effects on relationships.