Can Men and Women be just friends?

Sure, but I don't think that happens much. The attraction that makes people get romantically involved is very different from the attraction that makes for friendship. Look at it in reverse. How many people who've dated really want to be buddies after the dating ends?

From a female point of view, I think of a girl feels at ease with a male friend as with a brother. She won't care so much if a male friend sees her with messy hair and no makeup. She can talk freely with a male friend, not worrying what impression of her he gets. But if the male is someone she might like to date, she is very worried about the impression she makes. She wants to be seen at her best.

I don't think too many girls are interested in ever dating male friends. Guys, on the other hand, I think are often in friendships with girls, hoping the friendship might grow to something more. Unfortunately, the more at ease a girl is with a male, the more likely she sees him as a friend and the less likely she sees him as a potential dating partner.

Having said all that, I'ld like to add that a lot of us ladies might have had nicer lives if we had dated the guys we thought of as "just friends" instead of the ones we did get romantically involved with.

absolutely, men and women can be friends.

A similar situation happened to me a year ago - only in reverse.

I was best friends with a man for two and a half years. I thought I'd made it clear that we would never become romantically involved and that I was interested only in friendship.

He felt quite differently and, after two and a half years, blindsided me with his desire to turn our friendship into a relationship. I declined and told him what your female friend told you: That I didn't want to ruin our friendship by getting into a relationship. A month later, he walked out of my life.

With all due respect, it sounds as though you're misinterpreting your friend's actions. She has made it clear that she doesn't want anything more than friendship from you. Don't let your romantic feelings for her paint the friendship as something it's not. It will not go any further, and if you pressure her into a relationship, you're both going to be hurt.

I know this is hard, and I am sorry. Having feelings that are not reciprocated is painful. I hope you may continue your friendship with her and, in the future, find someone who makes you happy.

The poster above gives a good example of this kind of thing . . . and how men and women read these relationships differently.

You would be doing yourself a big favor, if you decided to gently slide out of this relationship altogether. You don't have to get mad or make a scene. Just be increasingly less available to this girl. If she persists in wanting to call you, you may eventually need to tell her that you are intentionally creating some distance so you can move on. You do need to move on. This attachment drains away energy that you could put into finding the romantic relationship you really want and need.

If this girl acts like she can't understand that, then she is selfish and not having your best interests at heart. I think most girls and women know when a man is lonely and hoping to find romance with them. In that situation, the stand up thing for a gal to do is to discourage the man's interest.

Perhaps, but not everything can be answered by science nor are they the authority on everything.. so I would take that with a grain of salt and look at reality. I have close lady friends that I talk to all the time, right now only online friends but in the past IRL life too and it's ludicrous for scientists to say it's impossible, if they do, there is no basis in their conclusion.

I know you stated that you believe it can happen, but just responding to the scientific comment separately from that.

How did you feel after he walked away? Do you still wish that he was still part of your life? Do you regret on not wanting a relationship with him? Do you feel as if maybe you had a relationship with him that maybe he would stay? Did you feel as if maybe by him walking away that maybe he never valued the friendship you two had?

I recently played a little prank on my friend about a week ago and I told her that i met someone else. I only told her because I wanted to see her reaction. I told her because I found someone that things might have to die down between us. After telling her that she asked if I told my new "girlfriend" about her and I said no. She mentioned she was hurt and it's been a week since i spoke to her. I told her it was just a joke and I only did it just to see what she would say. About a couple days later I get a text from a random number saying that they're a girlfriend of my friend and basically started off with nasty text messages and saying they wanted to get with me etc. I blocked my number and called the number that texted me and it was from a texting app. I'm starting to think it's my friend doing it just to play games. Probably getting me back for the prank I pulled on her. Or do you think if it is her maybe they're feelings there on her end that she's not telling me? I don't know.

How did you feel when he walked away: At first, I disrespected him for ending our friendship of two years – especially after he promised he would always be there for me. I especially disrespected him for walking out of my life at a very vulnerable and painful time.
However, any bitterness I felt towards him has since disappeared. I can see that our friendship could have gone no farther, and I suspect he saw that as well. He would always want something more, while I would always want something less. Therefore, it simply couldn’t have worked between us.

I honor his decision and I wish him the best.

Do you still wish that he was still part of your life: There are times I wish I could still talk with him, yes. But overall, I feel quite content with our separation. As I said above, our friendship could have gone no farther, and it was healthier for us both to part ways.

Do you regret on not wanting a relationship with him: Absolutely not. I had no romantic feelings towards him. I thought of him only as a friend.

Do you feel as if maybe you had a relationship with him that maybe he would stay: Oh, he might have stayed for a while. But a romantic relationship would never have worked. If our friendship couldn’t work, a relationship certainly couldn’t work either.
We would have separated regardless.

Did you feel as if maybe by him walking away that maybe he never valued the friendship you two had: No, I know he valued our friendship. I believe he was hurt when I declined to date him, and seeing me was a constant reminder that we would never be together. He was hurt that his romantic feelings weren’t mutual, and to continue seeing me would have only perpetuated that hurt. And as I said before, our friendship went as far as it could.


I think you’re at a point where you’re either going to have to accept the fact that you will onlybe friends with this woman (meaning that you will have to honor and respect her decision to date, talk about, and spend time with other menwithout becoming overtly jealous or upset) – or you’re going to have to walk away.

I hope my answers have helped to give you perspective on the aftermath of a friendship with the opposite sex. I know how painful this must be. In time, you will find someone who will want to be in a relationship with you.

It’s just not going to be this girl.

Stay strong.

Did you guys ever get so close as friends you felt that if he got in to a relationship with someone else you felt like he had to mention you to his new girlfriend? If he found a girlfriend would you get mad at him for finding someone new and paying less attention to you? I'm sorry for the random questions. It's something i'm going through at the moment. I'm starting to get the impression from her that she wants the security of a relationship but shes afraid to commit.

I'm a female and have a male best friend whom I love incredibly dearly. He and I are not attracted to one another and we literally do feel as though we were siblings. Over the past year our friendship has grown to be the strongest relationship in my life, and the second strongest in his, after his girlfriend. He does have a girlfriend, by the way, and they intend to marry in a few years. She has always been perfectly fine with my intimate relationship with him and we almost never have had any issues regarding her whatsoever. Like I said, we're extremely close. Not only does he know everything there is to know about me, I know almost everything there is to know about him. We never hide emotions or thoughts from one another, and if one of us has hurt the other, we bring it up and talk about it as soon as possible, just as all good friends should. We hug. We hold hands. We cuddle. We kiss. That last one is surprising to other people, generally speaking. The girlfriend knows—hell, it took me months to decide that I was ok kissing him, and she was there at least a few of the times I talked about not being sure.
You have to be sure. You have to be absolutely positive that neither one of you will ever develop feelings for the other, and you have to know that if one of you does, it will have to be ok to bail. I feel absolutely no jealously towards the girlfriend, and in fact, she and I are friends too. Both of them know that he and I intend this friendship to last for the entirety of our respective lives, and in fact, it's fairly likely that in a few years, after I finish community college, we three may move to a different state together and share rent.
I waited until he told me that he loved me before ever telling him the same, because I wanted to make sure I was never overstepping a boundary of his. Now though, we do tell each other that we love each other, a lot. Honestly by a lot of standards we are basically dating at this point, given the making out and the planning times to be alone together. The difference is that there is no romantic or sexual attraction going on. This is an incredibly important difference. This difference is key. Again, you have to be positive. You have to be sure. And you have to be ok leaving if you find you can't be. There is an enormous amount of trust involved all around: In the girlfriend, trusting us alone together, without her; in him, trusting me not to develop romantic feelings for him; and in me, trusting him not to develop romantic feelings for me, and trusting the girlfriend not to suddenly become jealous. If you truly love each other, in the platonic sense, I think this kind of trust should be possible. If it's not, don't risk involving yourself in the friendship. Literally the most important thing I can say to anyone looking to be best friends with the opposite sex is to be sure. Absolutely, completely sure.
We are.
I think that's it. This post got a bit long, sorry. I guess I have a pretty strong opinion on this.

Yes. I have few best guy friends. They are like my brothers. Our friendships are more than 14 years (Since College) and it grows stronger. Even long distant or being in a relationship don't destroy our friendship. We rely on each other and we talk for hours and get each other opinion on life. We trust one another.
There is no extra feelings in terms of men and women types of feeling.

Studies have shown that men are much more likely to incorrectly assume that their female friends are attracted to them, when their female friends are not attracted to them. And that women are much more likely to incorrectly assume that their male friends are not attracted to them, when their male friends are attracted to them. With attraction meaning an interest in sex, regardless of intentions to act on it the desire being present or not.

Basically yes I believe that men and women can be friends, as long as their isn't mutual sexual attraction. However because men are biologically programmed to want variety and spread their genes all over the place, and women are biologically programmed to be very selective, I think that more often than not, men are going to find platonic friendships with women to be tough, because men are likely to more often experience sexual interest. I think for women, we are more likely to have an easier time in most cases having platonic friendships with men.

So I think it boils down to the character of a man in most cases, whether or not he is able to acknowledge his primitive side but act honorably regardless. Because I think in most (not all) cases it's going to be tougher for the guy.

I'm good friends with a guy and I've never had feelings for him or felt attracted to him. I'don't know about him. I don't think he has some kind of romantic feelings for me.
So I think men and women can be just friends.

Yes. I am just friend to some guys, most of my friends are boys, some of them have girlfriends.
I had situations when I or my friend fell in love and its really difficult if its one sided and sometimes it ruins friendship.