[littleocelot]

I have a great career, nice friends. I do whatever I want and can arrange my life however I want. I've never had a boyfriend and am now really thinking that having one would really limit my life.

I like my life to be portable so I don't own any furniture. I love going off on weekend road trips and with no destination. I paint my walls orange and put flamingo ornaments on my front lawn. I go on month long hiking trips alone where I'm totally incommunicato. I also hate cooking.

I'm having so much fun that I couldn't imagine giving it up for a life of domesticity. People say I will regret never having sex or being in love. I would kind of like to have sex but I've never been even held hands with a guy. I live in small town and can't imagine being in that kind of situation. Is this really weird? I've never felt particularly attracted to any one person even though I find men sexually attractive.

My personal opinion is that what is most important is for you, yourself, to be happy and satisfied with the way you're living your life. If you do not feel anything is missing, don't mind what the world out there expects of you.

With that said, given that you live in a small town, maybe you just haven't met the 'right guy' for you yet - someone you can see yourself with while simultaneously continuing to live life with the freedom you currently have. A pleasant addition to your life, not someone who is going to turn around an already great life.

To adress your question, if I am understanding it correctly, in my opinion having a really casual attitude towards casual sex in a small town is not a good idea because chances are people will gossip and this may end up hurting you in some way.

Is dating still a possibility in your small town, like how 'small' is it? Do you have opportunities to go to other places when you have time off from work, maybe even move elsewhere? Have you considered it or do you feel that where you live is where you'd like to live forever? Change could be good sometimes to give you a fresh perspective.

[arundelle]

Don't give into expectations of how you're supposed to live.

But don't limit yourself, either. If you label yourself - "the one who will never have a boyfriend" - then when you're off having your awesome adventures, if you run across another awesome adventurer you might dismiss the possibility that you could have awesome adventures together. That would be a shame!

Just live life. Enjoy yourself. There's no need to force yourself into a box.

[ChipperMonkey]

Don't listen to other people. Most are poor judges of what is right for YOU!

I have had people say the same to me. I don't get into relationships. I'm not exactly looking, but I'm not exactly completely adverse to the idea. It would take a GREAT person who meshes with me well in order for me to consider bringing them into my life in a major way.

I like my life. I have certain plans for my life that I'm not willing to give up. I'm at an age where most people are settled down or are looking for someone to settle down with. I think that being tied down to one place would be death because I'd have to give up so much that I want. I'm not willing to do that.

Oh, and in regards to how people are crappy judges of what is good for other people.....I'm recovering from severe trauma, so I am most happy when I am not in close relationships with people. Idiots think that love is the end all and be all of everything and cannot fathom the fact that for abuse survivors, love is like a million daggers....but no, they can't think beyond their own ignorant, narrow minds to think that not everyone is like them. Ok, rant over. I get sick of others telling me whats best for me!

[Seqoya]

If you are happy that way then there isn't anything wrong with it.

My problem is I would like to be married. But I'm afraid to.

[Rose76]

Stay as you are, if you feel happy. You can always change your mind.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

I have noticed that people are immensity variable in the timing of when in their lives they begin 'romantic activities' and particularly because I am guessing you are quite young, I don't think you need be too anxious.

[littleocelot]

Originally Posted by ManOfConstantSorrow

I have noticed that people are immensity variable in the timing of when in their lives they begin 'romantic activities' and particularly because I am guessing you are quite young, I don't think you need be too anxious.

I'm 29 years old.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Nowadays 29 is not at all late in life, so if you are happy with your life I feel that time should not press too heavily on you.

That said, you have chosen this time to air your concerns and wishes, so perhaps you feel, deep down, it is time to explore more fully what you want from life.

I find you have to do this every few years - it is usually time well spent.

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by littleocelot

I have a great career, nice friends. I do whatever I want and can arrange my life however I want. I've never had a boyfriend and am now really thinking that having one would really limit my life.

I like my life to be portable so I don't own any furniture. I love going off on weekend road trips and with no destination. I paint my walls orange and put flamingo ornaments on my front lawn. I go on month long hiking trips alone where I'm totally incommunicato. I also hate cooking.

I'm having so much fun that I couldn't imagine giving it up for a life of domesticity. People say I will regret never having sex or being in love. I would kind of like to have sex but I've never been even held hands with a guy. I live in small town and can't imagine being in that kind of situation. Is this really weird? I've never felt particularly attracted to any one person even though I find men sexually attractive.

it's not weird, although it is rare. There are many people that do enjoy their lives without ever having been in a relationship. Not everyone is meant to be in one nor should it be "expected" that it's part of life or happiness for anyone. Don't worry about what people say. Unless it's an issue of something distinctly wrong or right, it matters very little what the rest of the world does. There is no wrong or right in this so you're fine.

Enjoy your life as it is and until you feel that you're missing something, that is, if you ever do, worry about crossing that bridge when it comes. If it never does, it's perfectly acceptable too.

I have been married 2x, myself, have had kids and do not regret having had that experience but to be honest, I am quite enjoying the freedom singlehood brings so I completely understand even though you have never had the experiences, you realize the limitations of having a partner in your life.