[Somerandomdudeorguy]

I dont know how you make me feel. On the one hand im happy to hear from you, yet on the other i couldn't care less. Sometimes i think of you and want to fix the troubled time you are having, and sometimes i think of you and wish i hadn't. The truth is im at war, war with myself. My two halves constantly at odds with each other. The side that loves you and will always love you and the side that doesnt want anymore to do with you. But do you want to know what the funny thing is, the funny thing is both sides want the same thing in the end. Both sides want for you to hurt me. Hurt me not because if you do i have a reason to be mad at you and end things, not because if you do it would say to me how you really feel. But hurt me because i know you have to, cause thats the natural progression of things. I have to be hurt by you cause i didnt learn the lesson the universe was trying to teach me the first time around. After you i threw myself into partying and drinking and one conquest after another. None of whom ever feeling like you but I cant help but feel i missed something along the way. You waltzing back into my life is obviously a wake up call. A call that eludes me, im missing a piece to the puzzle its a blarring one but im blind to it none the less. I don't know what to make of all this. I'm so tired of being in a constant struggle with myself.

[CANDC]

Welcome to Psych Central, somerandom. I am sorry you feel you are at war with yourself. I am glad you are reaching out to introduce yourself.

I find Psych Central helps me find answers where before there were only questions. There is so much here. It is like a buffet of help, everyone picks what they like the best.

Besides being an active participant in helping oneself at Psych Cental, many people also help support each other by replying to other people's posts. Many people who are actively involved in Psych Central find it helps take them out of their own problems to develop empathy for others. And their problems are more manageable the more they help others.

Glad you are joining us here. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

[Ruftin]

Hello and welcome to Psych Central Somerandomdudeorguy!!! It's nice to meet you. You have joined a community of warm and caring members who will want to offer you support and advice. Yours is welcome as well.

Please feel free to contact any community liaison or moderator by left clicking on their name in blue to the left of their post if you need help navigating the forums. It will take some time for your first five posts to appear as they are being evaluated and then you will be able to join chats.

So sorry for your struggles. You'll find we have a safe and supportive community. I'm glad you've joined us.

I look forward to seeing you around!!!

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by Somerandomdudeorguy

I dont know how you make me feel. On the one hand im happy to hear from you, yet on the other i couldn't care less. Sometimes i think of you and want to fix the troubled time you are having, and sometimes i think of you and wish i hadn't. The truth is im at war, war with myself. My two halves constantly at odds with each other. The side that loves you and will always love you and the side that doesnt want anymore to do with you. But do you want to know what the funny thing is, the funny thing is both sides want the same thing in the end. Both sides want for you to hurt me. Hurt me not because if you do i have a reason to be mad at you and end things, not because if you do it would say to me how you really feel. But hurt me because i know you have to, cause thats the natural progression of things. I have to be hurt by you cause i didnt learn the lesson the universe was trying to teach me the first time around. After you i threw myself into partying and drinking and one conquest after another. None of whom ever feeling like you but I cant help but feel i missed something along the way. You waltzing back into my life is obviously a wake up call. A call that eludes me, im missing a piece to the puzzle its a blarring one but im blind to it none the less. I don't know what to make of all this. I'm so tired of being in a constant struggle with myself.

Have you ever addressed intimacy issues with a trained specialist?