[donna450]

I have been married 46 years. My husband was 19 and I was 18. It was rocky at first. We had a few years of work, play and pleasure. I began having pains, emdometriosis...15 years. I couldn't get pregnant due to me and low T for him.
We adopted I got a hysterectomy, bipolar undiagnosed, put me in the mental ward months, weeks and years at a time. My husband missed me my children missed me. I was in a state uncaring, unfeeling, what was wrong with me. But I knew I needed help and I wasn't getting it at home. I even had shock treatments to get my severe depression to let up for 2 years. And all the other has continued on and off for 35 years. My children are grown. My grandchildren...most are grown. It's just me and my hubby. But it isn't working.
He blames me for the whole business of always being sick, diabetes, depression, anger, many other things. We've been in Fl. for over 27 years. Due to his shutdown emotionally....he keeps me at arms length. We do hug, really no feeling or bonding. Same with kisses, same with intimacy (none). He works at his store comes home eats and then watches tv for the next 4-5 hours. We do very little of anything together. He doesn't seem to be interested in anything other than what he wants to do for enjoyment.
I had open heart surgery got out on March 6, March 10th he goes into work and doesn't even call or text to see how I was doing. I asked him about it and told him I was hurt...."didn't you think of me at all?" I asked. "No" he said. I didn't have time.
Do I want to be in a marriage that doesn't involve me in it? He doesn't carry on a conversation with me. He thinks anytime I get upset it's because I'm off my pills, or the pills aren't working. Never him. He laughs at everything. My feelings he gets angry, my hurts he shows no concern and when I try to point out something he did wrong, he turns it so it was my fault all along.

I know this is long, and I apologize but I've tried talking with him, telling him how lonely and abandoned I feel. He acts like he didn't hear me, I write him a letter, he may or may not read it, but doesn't comment on it or answer my questions. I want to make the last 15 20 years better than the past 35. And I cannot say anything that brings him closer to me. I do what I can to entice him. I try to play little games to get him involved but tv relaxes him more. So there we sit....together....yet apart. Involved,,,,yet completely unaware of each other because of TV. We even eat dinner watching tv.
Emotionally he has abandoned me......since he feels he shut his emotions, his loving heart and concern down because of my abandonment of him by staying in the hospital on and off to get RX's and therapists to determine my past hurts and horrors that led me to the life I have been living....bipolar rapid cycling. He just got tired of me being sick, so did I. As of March 15th of this year after he said he really doesn't think of me anytime during the day. I through the Lords power and grace is giving me the strength to banish the depression from my life so I might live a life of hope and a somewhat normal life. But with who? I am very unhappy and nothing I say will make it better.
The end of the novel......thank you. Any and all comments or ideas welcomed.

I wish your life gets sorted

[~Christina]

Have you tried marriage counseling? Are you seeing a therapist on your own?

I'm sorry your being ignored

[Sinking Feeling]

Sorry to hear about your situation. Marital problems are common with everyone, ill or well. Being ill of course makes it harder to deal with. A marriage counselor is a good idea as already suggested. Be strong. Some times relationships just end and really no one to blame except circumstances we have little or no control over. Just do the best you can. That's all anyone can do. Whatever happens, happens. It rains and then the sunshine comes back out.