[sheisalive]

I am having trouble right now because I am going through a painful divorce and the "normal" emotions I am having keep pushing me into uncomfortable moods. I wake up daily with my soon to be ex husband on my mind. From the moment I wake up until I go to sleep, he is on my mind. He is leaving me because he said he "realized" we weren't a good match, but the truth is I was diagnosed with Bipolar and he didn't want to deal with it.

I have been so heartbroken over losing my husband and I want to blame the illness. I know that he would still be here if I hadn't become sick. Still, the fact that he is not here for me makes me know that he wasn't really there for me anyway. For my emotional protection, it is probably better that we are getting divorced.

I'm sad about the divorce. But I'm also angry at him. He moved me to another town that we were supposed to live in together (after he got a job transfer) and then he abandoned me here. I live with my mom now but I am essentially homeless and without any financial resources. I didn't want to leave my old home. I did it for him and for us so that we could start a new life and he just left me here. I would have to live in a shelter if I went home. I feel so broken. I miss my home and my friends. I miss the city I lived in.

I feel so alone.

My husband was verbally and emotionally abusive to me and I can't believe I stayed until he left. It makes me a little sick that I want him back after everything he has done to hurt me. I'm trying to heal but it's going slow.

Now I have to stay in this new place and build my life from scratch. I no longer have a car or a job and very little money. I'm in a dark place. I can't talk to my mom about it because she gets so angry at him and then she ends up taking it out on me. I have a therapist and that hour is a blessing but it goes to quickly.

I've been fighting depression like crazy and took up a new self care regimen in order to save myself. It's going to take me at least a year if not two to get back home. I'm super pissed about that. I want my life back. I feel like he stole it from me by talking me into coming here first and then not following through.

My trust has been broken and with a new diagnosis my life seems to have taken a turn for the worst. I'm trying to see what is good in all of this but I see nothing but pain.

[healingme4me]

Break ups and divorce aren't easy. When others aren't honest with themselves, they simplify their reasons and just cut ties, completely. Although your bipolar disorder is a new diagnosis, it didn't just come about overnight and create a new person within you. Stands to reason that it existed a long, long time.
He relocated with his employer, moved you from your social network then kicked you out without any financial/alimony assistance?
Here's your opportunity to step back and reevaluate what you want from life. Your post mentioned moving back to where you were. That's a goal worthy of taking all that dwelling on him energy and opening yourself to focus on your goal.

[sheisalive]

Thanks healing.

He was supposed to relocate with his employer in the city I'm in now but he decided not to come here even though I moved here to give us a head start. He left me with no money and we sold all of our furniture and everything to move out here. Then he changed his mind suddenly about moving here and wanted a divorce and just left me here with no support at all. He doesn't care what happens to me at all. He doesn't care if I can pay for insurance. He doesn't even know if I'm okay. He has said he will not help me point blank.

My goals do need to be my focus. I want to get my bachelors and save to move back to my town. I used to live in an expensive city so it's going to take some serious work and planning but I have to do it for my own happiness. I don't know how long it's going to take me but I'm going back home. I don't even care that he lives there because I have my own friends and community there and I need them.

[shortandcute]

sheisalive, I'm sorry that you're going through this rough patch right now. Divorce is never easy no matter what. But he does sound like an a $ $ hole. Especially uprooting you like that, then leaving.

[ChipperMonkey]

I'm so sorry!

It sounds like your ***** of a husband knew what he was doing when he sent you on ahead... That's the lowest of the low. You do deserve SO much better.

I know it is hard right now. And, it will be a struggle for awhile. But, please don't stop fighting to improve things, because with some hard work, your life can improve! Bipolar disorder is a manageable disorder if you get treatment.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by sheisalive

Thanks healing.

He was supposed to relocate with his employer in the city I'm in now but he decided not to come here even though I moved here to give us a head start. He left me with no money and we sold all of our furniture and everything to move out here. Then he changed his mind suddenly about moving here and wanted a divorce and just left me here with no support at all. He doesn't care what happens to me at all. He doesn't care if I can pay for insurance. He doesn't even know if I'm okay. He has said he will not help me point blank.

My goals do need to be my focus. I want to get my bachelors and save to move back to my town. I used to live in an expensive city so it's going to take some serious work and planning but I have to do it for my own happiness. I don't know how long it's going to take me but I'm going back home. I don't even care that he lives there because I have my own friends and community there and I need them.

He can say he won't help, all he wants. Abandoning a wife? Let the courts decide, no?

While waiting, rebuilding your life sounds like a good focus. Finding your way back to your supportive community..

[sheisalive]

Thanks guys.

Cute He is definitely one of the coldest most uncaring people I have ever known. It is so wrong what he has done.

Chipper I get the feeling more and more that he knew exactly what he was doing when he sent me ahead. He made the decision that we were not to be together one week after I got here. What a blindside.

Healing I am working on getting free legal aid right now because I can't afford a lawyer on my own. But I'm reaching out to legal clinics and any help I can get so that I can ask for support because he did abandon me.

I'm determined to get my life back.