I've crossed from normal infatuation into fixation

ForevahAlone · Jun 12, 2015, 11:51 PM

I've become fixated on my co-worker. It started as just a crush on him that began when he started talking to me every time we'd see each other at work. He was/is so incredibly sweet. He's complimented me, unprovoked(lol), and he just goes out of his way to engage me in conversation. I feel like I think about him all the time. I'm disappointed when I get to work and he's not there. When he's around/approaching me, I find myself flustered and almost looking for a way to get away from him. Counterproductive, I know. I just feel like I'll be, no pun intended, crushed if he doesn't like me. Ugh. I'm messed up.

llleeelllaaannneee · Jun 13, 2015, 12:02 AM

That sounds kinda wonderful. Ok, not the anxiety and feeling like you'll be crushed if he doesn't like you part that sounds blah and very stressful.
But liking someone is nice.
And, the person liking you going out of their way to engage with you sounds really neat.

Hmmm, I know you're saying this is hard for you and I hear the anxiety. Still, I've got to admit I feel a little envious of your situation.

Do you have any grounding or mindfullness techniques that might help you not get so flustered?

Dating co-workers can get a bit messy but I also think it can be a good way to get to know someone. You get to see how he treats other people, what his work ethic is like, does he use humor or compassion or does he listen well? It's an opportunity to see if he's really what your looking for by observing how he interacts with others

I think butterflies are pretty even when they're in the tummy.

~Christina · Jun 13, 2015, 12:13 AM

Is he even available?

ForevahAlone · Jun 13, 2015, 12:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Is he even available?

I have no idea.

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ForevahAlone · Jun 13, 2015, 12:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by llleeelllaaannneee

That sounds kinda wonderful. Ok, not the anxiety and feeling like you'll be crushed if he doesn't like you part that sounds blah and very stressful.
But liking someone is nice.
And, the person liking you going out of their way to engage with you sounds really neat.

Hmmm, I know you're saying this is hard for you and I hear the anxiety. Still, I've got to admit I feel a little envious of your situation.

Do you have any grounding or mindfullness techniques that might help you not get so flustered?

Dating co-workers can get a bit messy but I also think it can be a good way to get to know someone. You get to see how he treats other people, what his work ethic is like, does he use humor or compassion or does he listen well? It's an opportunity to see if he's really what your looking for by observing how he interacts with others

I think butterflies are pretty even when they're in the tummy.

The only thing I can do when he's around is squeak out a reply to whatever he says. Lol

I've crossed from normal infatuation into fixation

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~Christina · Jun 13, 2015, 12:20 AM

You should find out. No point in wasting your time with someone that's not available for a relationship. Well that is..... if you want a relationship.

ForevahAlone · Jun 13, 2015, 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

You should find out. No point in wasting your time with someone that's not available for a relationship. Well that is..... if you want a relationship.

You're 100% right. I just can't even wrap my head around asking him that. Lol. I'm weird.

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~Christina · Jun 13, 2015, 12:51 AM

I would think other employees would know something about his private life. Maybe poke around for some info.

Does he wear a wedding ring? I know that's a pretty obvious thing. Just a thought.

ForevahAlone · Jun 13, 2015, 01:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I would think other employees would know something about his private life. Maybe poke around for some info.

Does he wear a wedding ring? I know that's a pretty obvious thing. Just a thought.

No, that's an excellent question. I don't believe so. He's my age, early, early twenties but it's a possibility.

Jun 13, 2015, 01:02 AM

Also, if he has photos of family or framed pics what looks like a partner on his desk? Another indicator....

divine1966 · Jun 13, 2015, 02:37 AM

I was infatuated with someone for years. We were at no position to date. When we finally could date, he turned out to be so not good for me and kind of an *** lol

Try not to be infatuated until you know him. Try to get to know him and see if he is worth your energy

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