[bethea1]

hi my name is bethea I am new to this forum. I have been married 25 years to a very sweet but easily manipulated person. Those years have been happy . We have raised two special needs kids. My husbands family has always been very manipulative and controlling and we have managed to keep our distance. my husband sister recently had a stroke and is in very serious condition after having suffered 10 years we thought she was in the clear and this happened. My mother in law has somethings that she wants to discuss with my husband about her wll since my sister in law was the executor nw that has fallen to my husband. She wants him to come up there alone she lives in another state to discuss these matters I cant even go with him and go hangout somewhere else while this is being discussed I am livid about this . y husband feels caught between the two of us . My husband is not well himself he has prostate cancer high blood pressure nf1 and problems with his joints. I am also afraid that my husband will now be a pt husband which i would not be happy with and we will suffer financially because of this. We are both fianancially dependent on each other. What can I do to alleviate my fears take care of my husband and do the right thing for everyone involved. please do not tell me to tell him to grow some because he sticks up for me to her to no avail she does not listen told him that if I come he will not be involved in her final arrangements and he feels honored to finally be included in family businesss no matter what crumbs she is throwing him he is the only sibling that is of sound mind so she has no choice. please help me to behave in the proper manner that will not cause me or my husband further stress.

[Rose76]

She sounds like a pretty miserable person to tell her son to "please come visit, but don't bring your wife." One option might be for the two of you to go, but to stay in a motel rather than at her home. One the other hand, if he is okay going alone, and he would like to do that, then let him go and discuss whatever she wants to discuss. She really must be a by#$ch, because a man who is not real well healthwise would probably feel more comfortable having his wife travel with him. So she must be pretty selfish. At the same time, this is a matter for his family and I can see where in-laws might be out of place at discussions about MIL's money. So all you can really do is leave those discussions to him. Basically, leave your husband to make his own decision on this and respect whatever he decides.