I can't stop worrying about my girlfriend

I have been going out with my girlfriend for a while now, we are both 17 and very happy together. But there's one thing I can't stop worrying about.

I am very against smoking and find it extremely horrible and would hate to see her smoking. She said that she thinks the same about it. But I found out that she tried smoking with her friend once last year. She said that they did it "in her shed". I got a bit annoyed but we talked it through and She said it's the first time she's done it and she hated it. Then she said she has not done it since and won't do it again. This is where I get worried because I don't believe her. I trust her in most things but I always feel like maybe she does it more often with this same friend.

I was recently going through this friends Twitter and she posted that "we know the feeling of sneaking out of the house all too well". I am now worried that maybe she means they sneak out and smoke, like with the shed situatuion.

My main problem now is that my girlfriend doesn't like us getting angry at each other. I don't want to talk to her about it again either because last time she told me she hadn't done it since the time she tried it last year. But I'm very worried because she is the type of girl that does not easily say no, she may give in to peer pressure from her friends that do smoke more often.

The problem is not that she tried smoking, or that she is sneaking out with her friend, the problem is that I do not know if she is smoking more than I think and more that I would ever hope. She is a respectful, Christian girl who I do not see as ever doing that type of thing and me and her think the same on the topic. But I still feel she is giving in to peer pressure and doing it when she meets with this friend and I am extremely worried and do not know what to do.

I would really appreciate some help. I do not need advance on why I should let her smoke, or how smoking is ok, because me and her agree that smoking is disgusting. Thanks in advance!

You either trust her or you don't. "sneaking out" doesn't always lead to horrible lifestyle changes. She knows you don't like smoking, She said she didn't like it... Trust her.

What would you do if you knew for a fact that she was smoking with this friend?

I would try to talk to her and understand why. But it would not make me happy, and I wouldn't be able to be happy with her doing it in the future.

Sometimes sneaking out, isn't about doing horrible things, it can be about bonding with her friend.
If she didn't like smoking, good. Yet, to start in one's teens, makes matters worse with the addiction to nicotine. Would you shame her, if she were smoking?

I think you're over thinking it, because I over think and turn something into a bigger deal than it is myself!

I tried smoking when I was about 15 and hated it and was against it as my parents are smokers. I also snuck out a few times in the middle of the night to meet with friends. Smoking on their part was sometimes involved but it wasn't why we snuck out in the small hours to meet. It was about spending time with friends, being a teenager and doing something you know you shouldn't be doing (sneaking out, not smoking in this context). Often, it was because there was a lot going through our minds and we needed someone to talk to and it was always easier to speak in person and it was always during the night that our thoughts were going crazy. About school, about parents, siblings, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends and so on...

I understand where you are coming from, but if you don't trust that she doesn't smoke when she told you she doesn't (especially from the perspective of my teenage years) then you really are perhaps over thinking it. As much as you love her and care for her, life is too short to worry about things like this! I was the kind of girl who found it hard to say no to things and gave in to peer pressure, however, smoking wasn't one of them. I didn't like it and I always said no.

Hope this helps somehow

Oh, I should also add that maybe what she posted was a line from a song or a film and you're over thinking it. I used to read into things too much and I'd build a scenario or a story in my head that was so far from the reality; someone was just quoting something they liked and there wasn't any cryptic message behind it. It took me a long time to stop looking into things too much because it made me ill with worry so many times!!

Hello fellow worrier. listen there were always be things to worry. You'll drive yourself nuts. Are you generally a worrier? Maybe that's something to think about. Worrying isn't going to fix anything. It will just drive you crazy

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I seem to remember that young people like to try things out as a natural process of growing up and smoking is well known to be one of these things. Most people, rather unwisely, try smoking in youth and most recognise it for a the disgusting, expensive, filthy, degenerate, dangerous, selfish, irresponsible habit that it is. Actually I quite liked it, especially cigars, but being very thrifty I could never do something that is literally sending money up in smoke.

Now tell us how you REALLY feel about smoking lol

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i think you have a good reason to be suspicious, but then again you have to trust in a good relationship. there is nothing else you can do but trust. good luck