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#1
Jul 03, 2015, 01:39 AM
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I was filling out a background packet for a job application and it went into depth for references, it said I needed to list 5-7 people (not relatives or employers) who are close to me. I ran out after 4 people and needed just one more person. I decided to call my mom and ask her if I could use her husband as a reference because technically he isn't blood related to me, I had no one else so I was really desperate. Just to give you an idea: I really dislike this man, I'm in my 20s now but when I was 14 he invaded our house like a creep and started living under the same roof as my father while my parents were getting divorced. You can imagine how awful that must have been. Anyway, as soon as I said to my mom, "Can I use "Joe" (fake name) as a reference because hes not technically related to me?" She immediately got defensive and in a very rude tone said "HE IS RELATED TO YOU BY LAW AND BY MARRIAGE. HE IS YOUR STEP-FATHER. YOUR STEP-FATHER. YOU CAN'T USE HIM BECAUSE HE IS RELATED TO YOU. HE'S YOUR STEP-FATHER. UGH TSK!" Immediately I wanted to start yelling at her but I am trying to be nice to her because I need her reference for this job as well, and I just said in a short irritated tone "Ok. Fine." and replied in very short answers after that until we hung up the phone. That creep is not my "father" nor a "step father" just because those two deadbeats got married, sorry. He hasn't said a single word to me other than inappropriate comments that he thought were funny. I only have one father, the man who actually cared enough to raise me. How dare she even say these comments to me after everything she's done in my life.
I don't know how to even deal with her anymore.
__________________
"Re-examine all you have been told, dismiss what insults your soul." - Walt Whitman "Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." - Christopher Hitchens "I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience." - Mark Twain |
 avlady, Bill3
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#2
Jul 03, 2015, 10:31 PM
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It is really unfortunate that you mom couldn't discuss the situation in a normal tone of voice and without invalidating you. It must be so frustrating and upsetting to you when you have to deal with her and/or him. I'm sorry.
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| avlady
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 CosmicRose
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#3
Jul 04, 2015, 09:00 AM
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That's a lot of references. Sorry your mom yelled. Seems over the top, as though her own buttons were pushed.
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| avlady
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#4
Jul 04, 2015, 11:21 AM
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So sorry your mom reacted this way. It was uncalled for.
But I wonder What kind of job is it? I have a job that requires full background check and fingerprinting and drug testing and I only needed 3 references. Administration did call all my references. I teach public school. Previous district I taught at also required only 3. I have a part time job as well that is rather mindless (retail) and doesn't require any background check but I also needed only 3 references. What kind of job requires 7 references? Chief of staff for the president? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| avlady
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#5
Jul 04, 2015, 04:08 PM
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Yeah its for a law enforcement job. She's always like that, I didn't push her buttons because I know how futile that is with her, I was being really nice and she tends to explode all the time. I guess she felt offended that I don't consider him a relative. Oh well.
__________________
"Re-examine all you have been told, dismiss what insults your soul." - Walt Whitman "Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." - Christopher Hitchens "I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience." - Mark Twain |
| avlady, Bill3
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#6
Jul 04, 2015, 05:10 PM
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I have dad like that. You never know what's going to set him off. So sorry
Oh ok law enforcements makes sense Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| avlady
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#7
Jul 04, 2015, 05:49 PM
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Quote:
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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