[SarahSweden]

I´m now 30 and some years old and recently my more or less only friend had a child. It´s only natural of course and most people choose to have kids, and especially when they are in their 30s and above.

I don´t have kids, I probably don´t want any and I don´t have a partner either. I can still see my friend of course but it isn´t the same. We don´t share that many interests, I don´t find it that interesting to just take walks or spend time at home because she has to take care of her baby at the same time.

I would want to have friends who wants to go to a museum or a theater, to a restaurang or a café without having to plan for such activities for weeks in beforehand. I´ve searched for friends for a long time, on different forums. I of course know about all the traditional ways of finding friends but it´s hard because so many live a more family oriented life.

Does anyone else experience this?

[Angelique67]

Yes, it's very hard to find new real life friends especially as you get older. I tend to be solitary but I'm actually so alone these days I'm terribly lonely.

[iwonderaboutstuff]

Yes, I do. What "traditional ways of finding friends" have you tried?

[Bill3]

Maybe you could become involved with a "Friends of the Museum/Theater" type of organization, and thereby put yourself consistently among like-minded people.

[CosmicRose]

It's okay, even those couples that have kids often don't find time to hang out with friends themselves. If they do, its probably rare. As far as I know, lots of married people with kids tend to just do things with the family unless its like the holidays or something. Maybe you can get lunch with coworkers or join a group that has your same interests. There's gotta be more 30 year olds out there without kids.

[annoyedgrunt84]

As the baby gets a little older she may be able to bring it along to resteraunts and movies and theaters.I spend a lot of time with my nieces, I take them to the movies and library and bookstores, we play games and go to the park and walk their dog. I take care of them when my sister and brother-in-law go out of town.

[divine1966]

I found people on meetup to go to museums or theaters etc try that

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[SarahSweden]

I don´t know exactly what age you think about when you say when the baby get a little older but for me personally a visit to a restaurant or a theater with my friends child is out of the question for many years ahead.

As you describe it, you find activities around the kids, like play games and go to the park and then it´s no problem for you to hang out with kids. For me, I miss friends that don´t have kids, I don´t want to spend time watching her child play and so on, I want to spend time with friends having adult conversations without children around. Because many people at my age already have kids, it´s hard to find friends.

Originally Posted by annoyedgrunt84

As the baby gets a little older she may be able to bring it along to resteraunts and movies and theaters.I spend a lot of time with my nieces, I take them to the movies and library and bookstores, we play games and go to the park and walk their dog. I take care of them when my sister and brother-in-law go out of town.

[CopperStar]

Give it some time for your current friend. In my observations people with babies or very young kids are naturally mostly-consumed by their new parenthood life. It's natural and it's also important to the children for this to be the case.

However as children grow older and slightly more independent, they start to lose interest in their parents. They still need the security, protection, love, etc - but they also start needing to carve out their own identity, have friends, have hobbies on their own, etc. All very natural and healthy.

This leaves a lot of parents with young to mid teens suddenly with a bit of a gaping hole in their life. This is the time for such parents to start branching back out more so into their own things a lot more. Most parents with teenagers would probably absolutely love to go out for a night on the town with friends, while their teenager(s) hang out with friends.

So in the meantime, if you are having trouble finding adults in their 30s who have no kids, don't rule out people with teenagers. They might be into the upper 30s or early 40s in some cases, but hell makes no difference in terms of quality of friendship. But they will be way more likely to be like omg hell yes I will go to dinner and to the museum with you.