hurt by rejection

I can... get reallllllllyyyy cold when I feel cornered. It was well, a really unexpected break up - I'd been gone for the weekend, and when I left he told me to buy myself a nice meal while I was gone and he'd pay for it! The next time I saw him when I got back... he showed up at my flat with a bag with the stuff I'd had at his place. It floored me, so I went into total shock and defence mode.

We've got mutual friends, although I've only seen him once since the break up. Which was a few days AFTER the break up! At a dance, that I'd bought our tickets for. He bought himself a new ticket to attend!

It gets easier with time, honest. At least if you tell her... you'll know that you did the most you could, and that it's her loss (not that you'll think that last part, but what they hey, let's throw in cliche sayings!)

That was a shock sorry to hear that

idon't know what to do

me too. i can tell them what to do with their friendship

It's more likely than not, nothing to do with you! It's difficult to see that when in the midst of emotional pain and grief.

Thanks. But
i do not believe that. I have had that "we can be friends crap" before in my life. I went out now and met her. she said "hello" i said "i am not doing that friendship thing" and walked on

I didn't realize she'd brought up the friendzone. But if it is 100%you and nothing to do with her, then I'm sorry you're going through this.

sorry not sure what you mean? yeah she wants to be friends and talk about the hobby that we are both into

I quoted the part of your asking what's wrong with you that she's not romantically interested in. Takes two interested parties. Your reply stated that you don't believe it could be anything to do with her. Then talked about having that let's be friends talk before. I'm not even trying to give platitudes. If you want to buy into the idea that it's all about you, as though insecure and beaten down by life, then I don't quite know what to say. I only know it would seem off key, to have a talk with someone, asking them why not?

sorry upset not being clear. i meant there must be something wrong with me if she just wants friendship and othere did too. not all others. anyway i do not want friendship

i do not understand this. Areyou saying i should ask her why she does not wantme romantically?

It's not fun to be placed in the friends zone.

It seems off key to ask her what it is about you that she doesn't want romantically.

I understand what you mean now thanks

I stayed away from her/did not speak for over a year. Then i spoke again and learnt she is now with someone differeent and he spends nights there and it is near me. So i feel very depressed again

I should say wheni knew her first wayway back she insisted on me being friends- i did not want to as i knew i would fall for her- as i suited her then. user is what she is

I'm sorry you had such a terrible experience and got hurt. She doesn't sound worthy of you. Maybe you dodged a bullet. I hope you can get past this and move on. Best wishes.

Thanks. i think people just manipulate other as it suits them. whenn i knew her first i liked her so stayed away as i knew she would not be interested. she kept on at me to joining /being friends with her and my 'friend' who was dating her before. like a fool i gave in. I have to live near her and cant stop thinking of them together so near me

Noe the guy is staying weekends... i want to move