Obsessively jealous

I started dating this guy a year and a half ago. We met at a bar had our first date a week later and from there the relationship progressed very quickly. There were red flags from the beginning. He told me that I wasn't able to come over to his house because he had a roommate who had developed a crush on him, when he realized this he asked her to move out but she had not yet and he was afraid it would make his life very difficult if he brought a girl over since she was still living there. I learned about eight months later that this woman was actually in fact his girlfriend. He said they did break up before he started seeing me but I don't know if that's the truth. He told me from the beginning that he was insecure and that he had issues with his temper. He also told me several stories over the first few months we were dating that seem very grandiose. He said he had been in the Navy on some special forces unit. He said that he had previously been very wealthy. And many other stories like that. He texted me a lot and paid me a lot of attention. And when I told him about my mental health issues including getting very fixated on the man that I am currently with he didn't bat an eye, just took my hand and said don't worry I can handle that. (another red flag). One night I got an inappropriate text message from a friend that I had previously had intimate relations with. (although at this time him and I were just friends.) This was the first of many times that I saw his temper. He would yell and scream, pace back-and-forth, throw things, punch walls. I broke it off after a couple of months because his temper scared me I was afraid that he would eventually hit me. At this point he quit drinking alcohol and a month or so later we got back together. His temper wasn't as bad when he was sober but he did still have a temper he was still very insecure and I felt like I could not have a life outside of my relationship with him. After a few more months of this with us living together I broke it off and moved out. Once I was living on my own I started having problems with my depression again I was very lonely and felt like I had no purpose in life. During this time he met and moved in with another woman. Him and I tried to remain friends talking or texting on the phone almost every day. He very quickly started having problems with his new girlfriend and after a couple of months they broke up. Since he had moved in with her he had no place to live and I said that he could move in with me until he found a place. I knew that I offered this because I was so incredibly lonely and I knew that it was probably a bad idea. We had sex the first night he was at my house and then we slept together with his arms around me every night. I did also loan him money a couple times (that he has not paid back). After a couple of weeks of fighting with his ex-girlfriend going back to her once and then coming back to my house he finally decided that it was really over with her. He then got online and started talking to girls on online dating sites. I would come home from work and find him texting someone on the back porch and he would sit out there for five or six hours texting these other women. I became very jealous because he wasn't paying attention to me although he was still sleeping in my bed with his arms around me every night. It wasn't long before I told him that it hurt my feelings to have him spending the entire evening texting some other woman while he was at my house. This made him very angry he said if I was really his friend then I would be happy for him that he was moving on with his life. He said that it would hurt him if I started dating other people but he would push those feelings down because our friendship came first and he cared about me and wanted me to be happy. He even offered to help me go to online dating sites and start meeting men. Then my son started having problems and I had to leave the state for a week. Before I left I told him I did not want him to bring any other women to my house. He said he would never disrespect me like that. He also told me that he had to talk to these women for at least a month before he would even meet them. I became increasingly jealous while I was out of state, I was convinced that he was having a woman over to my house. I would call him and his phone would go straight to voicemail and then he would call me back 15 minutes later saying that there was something wrong with his phone he didn't know why it didn't ring. I believe that he had it on vibrate because he was with someone else and he made an excuse to leave so that he could call me back those conversations were always very short. Because I thought he was lying to me there were several times when I was very short with him, he says that I was mean to him all week even though he was there for me every time I needed him. When I got back on Friday night after driving 13 hours we got into an argument because he said that I was being mean to him again. He said that he had made plans to go out with this new girl that he had met a couple of days before and had to cancel them because I told him I was coming home and he knew I would need to talk. We argued for a couple of hours before I told him I was just exhausted and needed to go to sleep. I asked him if he would hold me I was still very upset over everything that had happened with my son and still dealing with my own depression. He said no that he was sleeping on the couch he said that I was confused and clearly couldn't separate him holding me with the fact that we were just friends. We have argued every day since then. He is still sleeping on the couch. And I am obsessively jealous over the thought of him dating someone else. I know that him and I do not work in a relationship, I do not want to be with him. So why do I want him to hold me why do I feel so jealous? And more importantly how can I stop?

First step, tell him he needs to find a new place to live.

People want to feel close to other people, that's how come you want to be held.

Jealousy doesn't always make sense. At it's base, it comes from wanting something you believe the other person has. Maybe in this case, it's about his ability to find new people, make "friends (I use that term loosely)?" I'm guessing.