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#1
Jun 09, 2007, 02:21 PM
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I have a boyfriend, as many of you may know by now, and everyday I feel more and more heartbroken by the fact that I love this man so much and show it, but don't feel that love in return. His job is very demanding. He spends countless hours a week at it, and is very respected in his field, which is pretty awesome considering he's only 22. This makes it so there is very little time for me. When he does have an hour or so, which is pretty good for any given day of the week, we have sex (hence why I was pregnant with his twins........ unfortunatly miscarried 2 days ago, he doesn't know) and go to sleep. His boss keeps telling him to explain things are ultra busy, and to just take me out somewhere nice when he has the time. I am not like that though. Money is not that important to me, other than paying the bills, and having fun once in a while. It's nice to be taken out somewhere nice every once in a while, but really, I just want some of his time. I know this is a new reletionship, and that they all have their challenges, but this isn't what I thought I signed up for. The reason I even considered having a boyfriend was to have someone to care for and spend time with. Do I just end it with someone I have begun to actually love, and who says he loves me, and is just the busiest man on earth, or do I stay with him, and figure that the lonliness is my cross to bare?
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I am a very shy quiet person that wants to be able to have a place to just talk, where nobody knows my facade, and won't judge me, but maybe just maybe, will end up liking me for me. Odd concept in todays world, I know, but a girl can dream. |
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#2
Jun 09, 2007, 03:37 PM
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For greenpunkergirl,
I notice on one hand you say you 'don't feel the love in return...' and the other claim to love him...and you don't even feel comfortable confiding in him the babies you created together are miscarried? There are no black and white answers....you need to look deep inside yourself and ask yourself are you better off with or without him...I was in a bad relationship, left him, and am dating a ton and loving it. You never know the turn your life can take!! Write us and let us know your latest decision.....
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#3
Jun 09, 2007, 04:33 PM
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I'm so sorry for your loss and how unfortunate that something that significant is something that you don't feel you can share with him! That seems to make me think that this relationship is certainly not going in the right direction just from that alone.
You really need to discuss all of this with him. If his schedule does not change and you are so unhappy then I think you will have your answer. Tranquility
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#4
Jun 09, 2007, 04:46 PM
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Hello GPG -- I am so sorry for your loss, and so sorry that you cannot share with the father. This is a sad time for you.
In your previous post, you stated that this fellow would be moving out in July. I'm so confused. Why are you investing so much emotional energy in someone who doesn't fulfill your emotional needs, is so distant that you cannot tell him that you just had a miscarriage, who spends Sundays at the office to play some game, and apparently does not want to spend much time with you. What's in all this for you?
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#5
Jun 10, 2007, 03:25 AM
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Ditto to what Wantsto said!
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Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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#6
Jun 10, 2007, 08:15 AM
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(((((GPG))))))
I am so sorry for your loss! It is a horrible thing to have to go through (I did also, 3 times) and to go through it alone???????? Big warning sign!!!!! Sometimes love is not enough and professed love holds no substance when the actions do not support the claim. Everyone has to do what is right for them. I could easily say get rid of him but I won't do that for we each have to live our own lives. However, I will say that the things that you want are not what you are getting. As others have said, it is time for you to look within you and find out what it is you want from a relationship. If it's not happening here, then perhaps moving on is your healthier choice. There are so many people out there that are also looking for a "partner" in a relationship. You don't have to answer, but why haven't you told him about the miscarriage? Are you afraid that being pregnant was what was keeping your relationship together? I wish you so much luck and support. Please know that you are not alone. Songbird
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 "It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end.
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#7
Jun 10, 2007, 09:57 AM
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Sorry for your loss...you probably should tell him soon...The loss I felt was more then I expected when I had experienced it.
I think much has been said in this post is good... Only thing to add is that if this is salvageable at all...you probably need to sit down and have a candid conversation with him... Us guys when hooked on climbing the ladder - may do so at families expense...realizing to late. Sometimes you have to work less for the greater good... Might I suggest also that you not have intercourse with him for a good amount of time...you will see what he is up to fulfilling your needs...and at the same time not risking making more babies with a guy who will not be a MAN when the time comes.
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Direction  Ripple Effect - Small things can make a difference |
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