[Macd123]

Well, here I am in the middle of Summer alone - I've never been otherwise. It was a beautiful day and I went to a food fair. The problem is everyone seemed to be with somebody and all I could think about was the empty space around me. I had a few exchanges (because I wanted to eat) with venders. They smiled politely and then faded into history. Funny thing, I've always been able to cope with this glass house that surrounds me - looking out, occasionally pounding on the window to get someone's attention. Lately however, it has become more desperate - the glass is thicker. Perhaps it is because I have less time, perhaps it is because I know I probably won't get to a point where relationships are the norm. Giving up has never felt so easy. I remember when my parents were alive and they would come visit. I used to make them lunch and we'd watch tv or a movie. Inside my head I kept thinking - is this it, when my parents pass away will I sever all outside ties. Well they've been dead now for years and for the most part the dark scenario has played out. It is ironic because I think I might be getting better at making an effort socially but I can't help but feel that this skill is coming way too late. My better years are well in the rear view mirror, I don't want anymore therapy or drugs. I just want the fantasy to be true. Amen.

[ptangptang]

Hi Mac. Yep, l know exactly what you mean. I had great day out in London yesterday with my brother at a country fair, so I wasn't alone and the weather was beautiful here too but nothing reinforces just how much you miss a partner than to be in among thousands of people all of whom seem have someone. Sometimes it seems that life is just a cruel joke.

[~Christina]

I have an Aunt.. She was single most of her life, she just never had luck with dating, was pretty awkward and to be honest kinda homely, almost no self esteem all her life. Anyway she met a guy in the grocery store one day totally random and they got married about 6 months later . She was 58 when they met.

It's never too late

[A Red Panda]

It can definitely feel the loneliest when you're somewhere that's pleasant.

I'm sorry that you feel so lonely. I can promise you though, that no matter what you were feeling/seeing - you were not the only person there alone, and you were not the only person who felt lonely. And keep in mind - not everyone who was alone was lonely, and not everyone who was lonely was alone.

It's never actually to late - unless you give up. That's the one thing that is 100% sure - when you give up and don't try, you will always keep what you don't like. And then it turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy...... and hello, viscious cycle.

Honestly, you sort of seem like you're stuck in that cycle right now. You don't have to stay there, although it is reallllly hard to drag yourself out of them.

But you know how you said above that you've noticed your social skills improving? Run with that! Use it, keep trying! Why not join some sort of social group that you'd enjoy? You'll get to meet people and interact with them - and it will be a routine, so you'll be able to form some genuine friendships through it - because the people are there for social reasons! You could also try volunteering, as that's another way to interact socially with the other people who are volunteering.

Doing something like that also gives you the "excuse" to start up conversations, so you don't have to worry about bothering someone. Which can help a lot with anxiety, and it also makes it harder for you to get mixed messages.

[avlady]

A Red Panda has some good points!!!

[divine1966]

The most awful lonely feeling is when you are with someone and don't have the connection you want. Boy. Compare to that being alone isn't as awful. But I hear you

attending art or food fairs is fun but not the place to socialize.

Why don't you try meet up groups like movie or dining groups etc? I can find a bunch for you if I know where you at

Now the other thing is if you are unsure of actually meeting groups or dating then maybe you can feel better by doing things for other like volunteer. Like homeless shelter. I don't mean meet s date there but do something for others. Will keep you busy and rewarded emotionally

But frankly if you are 60 you can find plenty of women for dating. Try online dating. Even if you are not sure about relationship you can always just go on casual dates. Use dating site


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[Macd123]

Thanks I was sort of venting guess it was a bad day.

[A Red Panda]

It's a-ok to vent Mac

[divine1966]

It is ok to vent but sometimes action is needed to get to a better place and venting is only temporary relief. But venting is important so vent away

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[JaGo]

Glad you just got it off your chest. There are billions of people in the world, many are the same age as you, and many are still single/divorce! Don't give up hope, you'll find someone.

Have you tried online dating? My aunt and uncle are in their 50's and that's how they met.