[purplemystery]

I'm in a new relationship (though technically it's not official, we've been on about 15 dates), and I've found that I tend to get very insecure about whether he still likes me or will lose interest in me. He has shared his interests with me, having me borrow video games from him or sending me video games online to try. He has also given me suggestions of anime movies/shows to try because I have never watched anime. I haven't really shared my interests with him though (beyond talking about them). I'm slow to be myself around someone and joke around with them, and find it hard to talk about myself. I'm afraid that I'm uninteresting deep down, but I think it's just that it's hard/scary for me to get across who I truly am. Does anyone else feel similarly in a new relationship?

[seaecho]

Yes, I have, in the past. I'm married now, and older, but I remember the feeling well. If he's taken you on 15 dates, you can be pretty darn sure he's interested! You sound as if you are fairly young. Young relationships are very different, and often very complicated, mainly because sometimes feelings are not expressed like they do once you get older. Young people send mixed signals a lot. But I can tell you one thing for sure--you are definitely not uninteresting to this guy, or he wouldn't have asked you out on 15 dates!

[magicalprince]

Yeah I get this same insecurity, it's awful. I think all you can do is bite the bullet and try to be vulnerable, otherwise you never get past the fear. You ARE good enough.

[divine1966]

After 15 dates you might not know if it will long term but you know you two are interested in each other. And honestly sharing interests isn't the most important as long as you talk to each other. Both I and BF have very different hobbies. We talk about it but no way we would be able to engage each other in other person's hobby. That's just not possible and not needed. Hopefully you have other things to share such as feelings and ideas and thoughts.

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[purplemystery]

Originally Posted by seaecho

Yes, I have, in the past. I'm married now, and older, but I remember the feeling well. If he's taken you on 15 dates, you can be pretty darn sure he's interested! You sound as if you are fairly young. Young relationships are very different, and often very complicated, mainly because sometimes feelings are not expressed like they do once you get older. Young people send mixed signals a lot. But I can tell you one thing for sure--you are definitely not uninteresting to this guy, or he wouldn't have asked you out on 15 dates!

Thanks seaecho, glad I'm not the only one who has felt this way. It's pretty bad... about every other week I get a huge "scare" where I misinterpret something that was said or not said, done or not done, and worry that he is no longer interested. Then I feel really silly when he acts completely normal. I think I just need to trust that he likes me.

[purplemystery]

Originally Posted by magicalprince

Yeah I get this same insecurity, it's awful. I think all you can do is bite the bullet and try to be vulnerable, otherwise you never get past the fear. You ARE good enough.

Thanks magical prince! I do need to just be myself regardless of my fear because I want a real relationship where the guy likes me for who I am. And if he can't, then I'll know he wasn't right for me. Easier said than done though. I wish it was as simple as me deciding to "be myself." When I'm with a guy in the beginning stages, it's like I forget how to be myself or I'm not sure how my real self would act. It probably just takes time to get more comfortable.

[purplemystery]

Originally Posted by divine1966

After 15 dates you might not know if it will long term but you know you two are interested in each other. And honestly sharing interests isn't the most important as long as you talk to each other. Both I and BF have very different hobbies. We talk about it but no way we would be able to engage each other in other person's hobby. That's just not possible and not needed. Hopefully you have other things to share such as feelings and ideas and thoughts.

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Thanks divine, you made me feel a little better! Yeah, he's guaranteed to be interested at this point. Even though he doesn't know me very well, he probably has a sense of who I am, which is enough to judge whether he likes me.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by purplemystery

Thanks divine, you made me feel a little better! Yeah, he's guaranteed to be interested at this point. Even though he doesn't know me very well, he probably has a sense of who I am, which is enough to judge whether he likes me.

Just enjoy each other company for now and relax.

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