 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Aug 19, 2015, 04:00 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
My son is only 17, 18 in December. His girlfriend of almost a year broke up with him some months ago. This was his first "love". His first real relationship.
My son is really struggling to get over her. They attend the same school and he sees her often. They are still "friends" but on her terms. (Yes). We get on well with her Mom and see them socially sometimes. My son's heart is broken and he is struggling immensely to move on. He is an emotional boy (much to my husband's disgust), and he is very intense. He had a good month or two where he was coping, but in the last week or three, he has gone back to the way he was when they first broke up. He was sobbing last night while I just held him. I don't know what to do for him, other than just be there as a quiet support. Telling him all the things, I as an adult know, seems so trite. Like, time heals etc etc. He doesn't really need to hear that right now. My heart aches for him. His ex is a lovely girl but she is young and a bit manipulative. I wish I could heal his aching heart. I feel incredibly hurt and sad for him. I know what I went through with my first love (at his age), but that doesn't make it any easier to soothe him. 
__________________
 Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
 Anonymous37837, Anonymous52222, kindachaotic, notz
|
|
#2
Aug 19, 2015, 04:10 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
How hard and painful for him and for you. I'm so sorry.
I wonder if he could be convinced to separate himself from her. Being "friends" often keeps the ex painfully in the front of one's mind and heart. |
 Sabrina
|
|
#3
Aug 19, 2015, 04:44 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Absolutely. But I'm hitting my head against a brick wall by telling him that. He is incredibly stubborn. Problem is, he is so in her space that he is pushing her further away, even in friendship. He gets terribly defensive when we try and suggest that he gives her some space. I hate to admit it, but he is making this so much harder for himself.
__________________
Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
| Bill3, notz
|
| Bill3
|
|
#4
Aug 19, 2015, 11:41 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
It sounds terribly painful. Does he see/would he consider seeing a counselor?
|
| Sabrina
|
|
#5
Aug 19, 2015, 11:58 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Oh wow, absolutely not. Besides, its hundreds (in our currency) per hour and we could never afford it.
But it's an option I wish I could offer him!!
__________________
Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
| Bill3, notz
|
| Bill3
|
|
#6
Aug 19, 2015, 12:30 PM
|
||||
|
||||
 
__________________
|
| Sabrina
|
|
#7
Aug 19, 2015, 12:51 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Maybe there is a trusted person at school who is aware or can be made aware of the situation and could talk with him?
|
| Sabrina
|
|
#8
Aug 19, 2015, 01:59 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I'm going to speak with him to find out if there is an independent person he feels comfortable with. I know he chats a lot to his ex's Mom, but ..., though she adores him, she will naturally side with her daughter.
He asked me tonight about anti-depressants. That gave me a shock. He thought if he took just one he'd feel better. I explained to him that they don't work like that. But I feel I need to monitor him closely now. And he said he's not sleeping. Oh dear!
__________________
Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
| Bill3, notz
|
|
#9
Aug 19, 2015, 02:31 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I think it is a mistake to think that you telling him that he will get over this and he will find someone who is worth his effort, is trite. He is looking to you for some support and YOU DO HAVE the maturity and wisdom to convince him that he is wonderful, handsome, intelligent, etc .and will find the right girl in due time. Say it until he believes it! I kind of think that's your job. So sorry you are dealing with this, so big hug for you. I remember once my daughter got dumped and MY heart was broken to watch her sob and sob about it. It's hard, I know.
|
| Sabrina
|
|
#10
Aug 19, 2015, 10:22 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I am very sorry. My daughter was cheated on. It was tough. She is now married to a wonderful guy. Tell your son he will meet a wonderful lady one day and will be happy!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| Sabrina
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
