[MikeNessMonster]

Hi all,

Im feeling very conflicted. Im currently in a relationship with my boyfriend of two years. Im very much in love with him, and we are moving our relationship forward together. I would consider my boyfriend to be my best friend and life partner.

So here's the issue: I still have feelings for my ex boyfriend. We only dated for three months almost four years ago. We had a very passionate relationship and the time we spent together was a time of great self discovery to me. He showed me things about the world that seemed almost magical, and i often reminisce over old memories with him. After about three months we broke it off due to incompatabilities, but continued to have sex and hang out together as "friends". When one of us would get in a relationship we would stop having sex but continue to spend time together. He never tried to get me to cheat on my boyfriends, but he would sometimes ask me to have sex with him while he was in relationships. I never agreed to this or course. He was often there for me emotionally when i was having relationship issues.

Eventually, after I have denied to be intimate with him he began to take little shots at me here and there. He would put me down in small ways, and i began to see him less and less. When i began seeing my current boyfriend, I stopped seeing my ex altogether as he would be wanting to cuddle and be intimate.

About a year ago, my ex and my current boyfriend had a fight (they already knew each other before we startes dating) and my boyfriend became very jealous of my ex and forbid me to speak to him. I unfriended him on facebook and decided it was for the best. But this of course did little to make me not miss my friend who I still had mysterious feelings for. For months I would imagine seeing him in the street and worried about an off chance meeting with him.

I stumbled across him a couple months ago and he seemed happy to see me but at the same time reserved in a strange way. He told me he is having twins with a girl he doesnt love. We hugged goodbye and i felt guilty about how much I liked it.

Yesterday, I attended an event with my boyfriend and my ex was there. My boyfriend and my ex are on good terms again, but i still feel as if seeing my ex as a friend is out of the question with my boyfriend. The whole time my ex barely spoke to me, but when my boyfriends back was turned he would smile at me, and everytime I couldnt help smiling back and blushing! Ugh! To make things worse we all went out to a bar together in a large group and he wouldnt even look at me when i was looking at him, but as soon aa i turned away i would catch him looking at me.

I would never cheat on my boyfriend, nor would I want to be back with my ex. I just have some sort of mysterious connection with my ex that just wont go away! I feel that i have some unspoken things to say to him that could really help me get over him, but my boyfriend would be very unhappy if i saw my ex one on one again. Is it normal to have feelings like this? Do I just need to man up and realize I will always have feelings for my ex and accept it?

Perhaps you love the ex because you are not with him?

(I like Mike Ness.

[healingme4me]

Maybe it's too soon to be in the presence of your ex? Not certain how to handle that, since he's also your bf's friend.

you have already cheated. It's not just the deed but the thought.

You need to make a decision. If it's to stay with the current BF you need to cut yourself off completely from the old. And then make reparations on the second.

I'm not sure what to do about those occasions you show up to the same places. The first start would be to admit to the current boyfriend you are uncomfortable in such situations. Make any interraction as short as possible. Make it clear through your actions and even body language to the ex that you have moved on. Ensure he understands that talking beyond friendly small talk is unwanted. It's going to be really difficult the first time you do this. The old boyfriend will feel snubbed but you got to do what you got to do.