[HarrisonHarrison84]

Just curious, has anyone here had much success with dating apps? I got one on my phone about 3 weeks ago. I've sent a few messages on it with no responses from potential matches/dates.

[DwNouT]

No luck at all. Same here, I send messages and no response. Just about everyone I talk to doesn't want to meet. I think its because of my description is usually blank or have few things about me on my profile and I think its mainly because of how I look. I tried Badoo, pof, okcupid and dating4disabled. Good luck

[scorpiosis37]

Yes, I met my current girlfriend on a dating app. It's certainly hit and miss; I also met a lot of...questionable people... on there before I met her. But, if you keep at it, you might just meet "the one."

You can certainly get a lot of proposals for sex.

[crosstobear]

Originally Posted by HarrisonHarrison84

Just curious, has anyone here had much success with dating apps? I got one on my phone about 3 weeks ago. I've sent a few messages on it with no responses from potential matches/dates.

Last year, when I had more time (working and taking three classes, no internship) I used both Tinder and OkCupid to great effect. I met like 15 girls through Tinder and maybe 10 through OkCupid. I went on second and third dates with a few of them, and one turned into a short-lived relationship. It is a great way of meeting women, and for me it practically destroyed the problem of one-itis. I had several women I would talk to a day, and that gave me the confidence to approach women IRL and ask for numbers. I got several numbers IRL and went out on several dates with a couple women IRL. It's becoming socially acceptable to date using apps.

Caveat is huge, though. IRL when you meet or run into someone, you observe them and unconsciously (or consciously) pick up many signs from their body language, tone, word choice, facial expressions, etc. You see how they treat others and you get a general vibe. From that first couple of minutes on you can tell whether or not they will be a good fit for your personality ("chemistry" or whatever women like to call it). That aspect is virtually non-existent in online dating. You have to take their words and profile at face value, and often you end up realizing IRL they are really boring, annoying, even mentally unstable. You will reach a lot more duds through online dating and that's because your radar is turned off. IRL you pick up on that 80% of non-verbal communication. There are some women I'd see in public that I'd admit are very attractive, but I wouldn't want to spend a minute with them, simply because they give me vibes that don't jive well with my personality. It's not that they are bad women, or crazy, etc. It's that their personality, style and mannerisms make me uncomfortable and it's just as much about me as it is about them. Without this sense of non-verbal communication, online dating leaves you open to having a lot of bad dates. But it's all a numbers game, even IRL dating. Online dating makes the numbers game easier.

I'd try it out. It helped with my situation. Now I don't have much time to date but I'm much more comfortable talking to and flirting with women, and the dates that I went out on last year gave me a solid amount of experience with dating in a very short time. It was worth it. You only get better via practice. Right now I'm talking to a girl I met on OkCupid and talking to two girls IRL. I was talking/planning to see a girl I met on OkC last month but it fizzed out as both of us had very busy schedules.

But I'd like to add- as someone here noted above. You get a lot of no-replies. Not only are there a ton of fake profiles and Webcam spammers, but a lot of people already in relationships make online profiles for ego boosts, or for backup/side piece purposes. Just like real life you have to assume the person you are talking to is already seeing or talking to two or more other people and has maybe a handful of options on top of that. Sometimes promising convos fizz out due to laziness or someone else catching your or their eye, etc. To meet as many people as I did, I had to weed through tons of duds.

IRL the really pretty women rarely get approached by guys due to the belief that they have someone already. Well online, EVERYONE hits on the hot girl profiles, and often they have "full inboxes" etc. 90% of those messages are probably sexual or cheesy lines, and the 10% of substance are overlooked. Hence, you'll find the playing field skewed in online dating.

People also make assumptions about online dating. The one a lot of people bring up is that those who go online can't find a date in real life (pertaining to women, as men are expected to pursue and not be pursued). So there's this idea that if a girl is online and she is good looking, she's probably crazy or has some sort of personality issue. That's a sweeping generalization and I feel like a lot of this belief is due to confirmation bias. The reality is that many people do online dating because many people work 50-70 hour weeks and want to find someone better than they'd find at the local bar.

[divine1966]

Not sure which ones are you using? I met my current BF on eharmony. It has both app and website. I've met him after about a month on the site. I've talked to others during that month, but it wasn't clicking. Be wary of scammers and stay away from free sites. Those are usually hookup sites


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

E Harmony worked for me

[Rino]

It is very hit or miss with me. I met my ex on Plenty of Fish and we had a very nice (so I thought) but short-lived relationship.

[AstridLovelight]

I've been on okcupid for several years but haven't had any success with it. I'm not in a position in life right now for a serious relationship, but I would love to just go have coffee with some cute girl. But all I get are messages from men. Most of them are polite and good guys, but I just have no interest. But my inbox fills up really fast. I think it's iike that with a lot of women, it can be overwhelming.

I think there's an art to sending messages ... be friendly (obviously), don't talk about yourself too much, bring up a common interest or activity mentioned on his or her profile, ask questions about the person--all without seeming too stiff, formal or obsequious. Playful, witty banter often gets get a response from me as well. The worst messages I get are ones that just say "Hey" or "What's up?" Those immediately go in the trash.