[Marchmars]

Today is the national holiday in South Korea, like Thanksgiving Day in the US. All of the family come to my grandma's house.
Unfortunately, it's not happy. Because there is an uncle who is a very forthright person. Sometimes he's too rude.
He was a part time instructor at college for one semester, few years ago. But he still pretends he's a "professor." For example, he asked my grades in college. And then he said I have to get good grades so that I could get a better job. Once, he asked what I would do after I graduated the college. Like he was advising my future, I didn't want it, though.
I said to my father that I don't want to go to my grandma's house. But he said I have to. I'm already over 20. I think I can decide whether I will go or not. I'm so stressed. I have to go right now to her house for dinner.
There's nothing I can do. and I don't know what I could do. I just want to go abroad. I need your help.

[CANDC]

Hi Marchmars. Welcome to Psych Central. Sounds like you are in a highly stressful situation with school and competitive and bossy relatives, that sounds like has even got to be mentally and emotionally traumatic. There are ways to cope with these kinds of stress, like self care

Of course I would highly recommend a therapist, but if that is not be possible I would like to recommend a resource here at Psych Central that you can send in a question, and get a reply from the therapist as their time allows. Here is the link for that.
Ask the Therapist

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There are lots of compassionate people here that can make the load lighter by sharing and caring. Feel free to participate actively at Psych Central. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Perhaps it is different in your culture where respect to elders plays a bigger part than in the West (or so I understand).

Perhaps you can write a list of all the annoying things he is likely to say? Written down they may be more dealable - you might say in response to 'Once, he asked what I would do after I graduated the college' you want to help people and protect the environment and ask his advice on what might be jobs that meet this need. I think he will get the message.

I agree. I'm wondering if not going is culturally acceptable there.

With that said I have two feelings on the matter. If you live with your family I think you are bound to go. However if you are on your own is your choice.

[divine1966]

My therapist says that it is ok to limit time with toxic family. If you don't want to rock the boat and cause fights maybe you can lie that you are working that day or are not feeling well. Then you can do what you want that day.

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