[passionfruit3]

My best friend suffers from an eating disorder but she wont get help she wants to self destruct by losing enough weight even if she passes out from lack of electrolytes, im suicidal making plans to end it soon.but we talk about it like it like it's normal conversation last year she made an attempt cause i gave her advice to dehydrated herself cause id done it before to try and harm myself . before that she drunk bleach and i didn't know how to feel. I know the thing is i could lose a friend and sometimes we aren't always negative to eachother the thing is i feel like it's her choice and if she's not happy being here maybe she needs to be somewhere were she can be and if she thinks that is death who am i to stop her

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[kaliope]

this sounds like me and a few of my friends. i can tell you from experience, since one of my friends did follow through and was successful a couple years back. and i still feel guilty about it. because i found a way to make it and things are ok now. and maybe things could have got better for her too. if she only knew what i know now. but she is gone and i feel such a loss.

[Trippin2.0]

Talking about such topics are normal for people like us who deal with the reality of suicidality.


It gives us a safe place to vent with an ear who understands where we are coming from.


Howeverrrr, giving each other ideas? Cheering each other on towards death's door?


That sounds like an unhealthy relationship for both parties, quite toxic to be honest.


True friends care about each other, and that means wanting what's best for that person, wanting to see them thrive, succeed and wanting to be proud of them. If and when we think an otherwise physically healthy person is better off dead because they think that will make them "happy"...

Well then maybe we are not in the best position to be someone's friend at the time.


Sorry but I think you two should give each other some space to heal before one of you does something irreversible and the other lives with the guilt.

[passionfruit3]

I know but i don't know how to let her go shes my best friend. I can tell her anything and everything and she won't judge me for it.plus i don't want to be alone myself friends are so hard to make especially good ones. She's not a bad person we have a twisted view of things and we don't know the best way to go about supporting each other but we do care

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[~Christina]

You each need a Therapist.

Please stop being supportive of her self harm in this manner. it's just not healthy or right for either of you.

[divine1966]

I am really puzzled why would you advise your friend to dehydrate herself. I can't wrap my mind around it

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[avlady]

i don't understand either, you shouldn't be thinking such ways to try and trust each other. my son went through this when a friend of his asked him to walk on the ice in the winter to prove he was truely a friend and he actually did it!! needless to say, he told me about it and will never see this friend again if i can help it.

I agree, the topic of suicide comes up with those experiencing ideation easily but it is a different matter to discuss and encourage following through with it. If you value your friendship I would encourage her to find help. Maybe even offer to go with her if she would like the support.

Now, my appauling little knowledge of anorexia is that the condition often arises as a power and control issue. That, perhaps, the individual has such lack of control in their life that the one thing they can control is their body. In some of these cases outside control or power is exerted over them.

Thus, one way you may be able to help your friends is to find ways for her to control other situations in her life. Just a thought.

My best gf IRL ... we both have bipolar disorder and an eating disorder. We don't judge each other and are empathetic towards each other....but never give harmful suggestions. Years ago, we dieted together but discontinued that dual endeavor...I felt like it wasn't healthy for her and didn't want her to get sicker.

We still openly talk and are listening ears...but don't reinforce or suggest harmful behavior.

[Bill3]

who am i to stop her

In your heart you want her to have her freedom to think and choose. However, also please realize that eating disorders affect the brain and influence how a person thinks.

You could recognize that her thinking would be different if she were healthy. You could help her become healthy, and then see how her thinking changes.