[ElisaB]

My heart is completely broken! I've been at this for so long and see nothing more I can do... don't know what else TO DO! Last argument I was called a piece of ****, a ***** and that I was the worst person in the world because I refused to get into an argument at 2 am when he'd been drinking. I'm tired of being yelled at. I'm tired of arguing. I'm tired of being talked to like I'm worthless. I'm tired of having to pick up after someone that doesn't care about anything but themselves. I'm tired of only being important when someone what's to "relieve their tensions". We have three children and he's made it abundantly clear that if we were to divorce he'd make sure that the children would not be with me... even though, he's not a capable father and is violent and impatient. I'd leave but we're broke and cannot afford a divorce. I'm at my wit's end... I can't go to the abused spouse place because they have a curfew and I work nights, not to mention the kiddos and no one to help me take care of them... I'm so screwed! Hopeless... I can't do this any more!!

[hannabee]

oh my! sounds like an impossible situation and my heart goes out to you. I read some of your other posts and it sounds like things are not getting much better for you. I have no advice just wishing and hoping that things start looking up for you soon.

[Superzombiechic]

Can you stay at a relatives? Mother? Sister? Aunt?

[WifeofBPD]

The first thing to do is to stay calm. Emotions are spinning out of control and that is completely understandable, but you must gather your wits about you and stay in control. The more you lose your cool and the more irate you become, the more he has control over your emotions. Do not allow that to continue. You can be angry over the abuse, but do not let it rule over you. Now, if other options are not available, you may have to bide your time until you are able to leave. It is not the best choice in the world, but it is one. This does not mean that you take his crap or endure his berating behavior. Remove yourself from the room. Refuse to engage him. It takes two people to argue and if you refuse to be a party to it, there goes his ammo. If the abuse becomes violent, immediately contact the authorities. Press charges if able to and file for a restraining order. If he is able to behave himself, set strict boundaries. Be strong. It is hard...I know from personal experience, but it is able to be done. I had 4 children (ages 2-13) and had to move two states away. I know what you are up against, but I'm here to tell you..If I can do it, honey, so can you. It isn't easy, not by any stretch of the imagination, but dig deep and tap into that "momma bear" inside you and find the strength.

~Seanachai~