[ilive4music]

Hi everyone,

I need some advice please. About 2 months ago I started dating this guy and the more time I spend with him the more crazy I feel about him. However, I am afraid to open up to him about my depression, and ECT because I am scared of his reactions. I don't want to lose him over this, but I am afraid because people are so close minded when it comes to mental illness. I am just so scared of his reaction, I really don't want to lose him because this is the only guy that ever made me feel so happy.

Thanks in advance.

[Raindropvampire]

I've always been upfront in my relationships. Once they've gotten to know me and I thought there could be something then I'd tell them. Usually I'd just slip it into the conversation and if they seemed taken aback then I'd say you know me and this is just a part of me. If you have any questions or concerns please feel free to ask.

You'd be surprised how many people know someone that suffers from MI or suffer themselves. One guy gave me a hug and said I'm bipolar too but i was scared to tell you because I thought you'd run. You never know if you don't take the chance. But I guess you could feel him out tell him you've been helping a friend with depression or something like that and see how he reacts. Best wishes to you.

[ilive4music]

Originally Posted by Raindropvampire

I've always been upfront in my relationships. Once they've gotten to know me and I thought there could be something then I'd tell them. Usually I'd just slip it into the conversation and if they seemed taken aback then I'd say you know me and this is just a part of me. If you have any questions or concerns please feel free to ask.

You'd be surprised how many people know someone that suffers from MI or suffer themselves. One guy gave me a hug and said I'm bipolar too but i was scared to tell you because I thought you'd run. You never know if you don't take the chance. But I guess you could feel him out tell him you've been helping a friend with depression or something like that and see how he reacts. Best wishes to you.

I will try it ....and hope for the best!
Thank you

[healingme4me]

I feel opening up oneself and being honest about what you struggle with, in life, is relationship building, foundation forming. You may not need to get into all the details of your struggles, but ideally, a relationship is about openness and communication.

There's something bonding about a willingness to become vulnerable, that can take a relationship to the next level, whatever level that may be. Builds trust, respect, compassion, understanding.

And, having it out there, hey, I've suffered through depression, at times, when I do, these symptoms/behaviors occur, I'd like you to know, I've treated it, when I've needed to, and it's no refection on our relationship. And if it recurs, I will take care of it, through further treatment.

Who knows, maybe your new beau, has had his own battles, and what a relief, if can be to have such an openness towards one another.

Relationships, involve a certain amount of vulnerability to strengthen the connection and bond.

Hope your guy, accepts all of you

Originally Posted by ilive4music

Hi everyone,

I need some advice please. About 2 months ago I started dating this guy and the more time I spend with him the more crazy I feel about him. However, I am afraid to open up to him about my depression, and ECT because I am scared of his reactions. I don't want to lose him over this, but I am afraid because people are so close minded when it comes to mental illness. I am just so scared of his reaction, I really don't want to lose him because this is the only guy that ever made me feel so happy.

Thanks in advance.

[ilive4music]

He ran away.......It's okay........everyone is different I guess....

[always_pushing]

I'm sorry.
I was about to recommend to be upfront as well.
This might not feel good to hear right now, so I don't mean to sound insensitive... I just think it's important to always be upfront.
It's nothing to be ashamed of and the more people talk about it the more educated people become.
If he left bc of depression, he wasn't probably the right guy for you.

But I am sorry, I realize how difficult it must be.

Hugs.

[ilive4music]

Yeah...I think I am done with relationships .....It was too painful ....I dont think I will ever meet a guy who will accept my illness...so I guess I am alone in life....Oh well, it could be worse

[danvb]

Ohhhhhh... that hurts. I'm so sorry you're hurting... That's a really difficult thing to deal with.

Well, I'm glad you were up front with him though and told him about your depression when you did. He obviously has issues of his own that have nothing to do with you. It's better to have found out about his issues NOW instead of later. So, as painful as it may be, he probably wasn't a man you would ever be able to be yourself with.

While I don't really know what you're going through, I DO know the agony of having someone that I loved walk away from me. After that the world seemed pretty bleak, dark and depressing to the extreme. I know that I felt like giving up and thinking that I never wanted to be in another relationship and that I didn't want to fall in love with anyone ever again. Yeah, I'm another person that gets to try to cope with severe depression too.

But, much to my surprise and delight, the woman that I've now been married to for almost 39 years came breezing into my life and changed it forever. She's always known about my depression and accepted it from the beginning. She helps me get through times when I'm lying at the bottome of the well and can see no hope or future...

The right man will come along, even though it might not feel that way now. It will happen. So, it's OK to grieve the recent loss of your boyfriend. But when you're done grieving, please try to give it another try. All is NOT lost, even though it might feel that way right now.

My heart goes out to you...

Dan

[ilive4music]

I think I am done with looking for the right guy will come along ......I'd rather be alone than go through misery....

[thesneakypanda]

Originally Posted by ilive4music

I think I am done with looking for the right guy will come along ......I'd rather be alone than go through misery....

Hey now... stay hopeful The right guy is still out there. I was in your position not too long ago and out of nowhere I started talking to a guy I went to high school with and I know deep down he's the one.

Anyways, my point is don't give up... maybe take this time to get to know who you are as an individual better and before you know it the right guy will come along.

[danvb]

Well, if you're going through misery right now, maybe it's best that you DON'T look for Mr. Right right now!

I mean, if you aren't on your game right now, that's a good thing for you to know! So, perhaps you should take a breather for right now. Step away from your search for a little while until you aren't feeling so yucky about it. It's OK if you do that ya know.

Take some time to get back on your game again. There is no rush. When you're ready to resume your search, I'm sure you'll feel more hopeful again.

You might be feeling a little despondent right now, but, if I've learned ANYTHING in this silly life I live, I've learned that, "This too shall pass!" and things WILL get better.

Dan

[ilive4music]

Originally Posted by danvb

Well, if you're going through misery right now, maybe it's best that you DON'T look for Mr. Right right now!

I mean, if you aren't on your game right now, that's a good thing for you to know! So, perhaps you should take a breather for right now. Step away from your search for a little while until you aren't feeling so yucky about it. It's OK if you do that ya know.

Take some time to get back on your game again. There is no rush. When you're ready to resume your search, I'm sure you'll feel more hopeful again.

You might be feeling a little despondent right now, but, if I've learned ANYTHING in this silly life I live, I've learned that, "This too shall pass!" and things WILL get better.

Dan

But depression is always misery.....no matter what. I am just so tired of peoples nasty attitudes "What do you have to be depressed about? Why are you so anxious?"

[connect.the.stars]

Ilive4music, the same thing happened to me. I understand your pain. I too had a hard time figuring out when and how to say I have depression. Because it's very obvious and it is definitely a part of me. But that doesn't mean it makes me any less like-able. Someone else was saying how he had some issues of his own, and that most certainly is close-mindedness towards getting to know and understand mental illness. I don't blame him...not a lot of people in society are jumping up and down to do that. But the ones who DO understand are the ones who are worth your time. That's my thought on this, I know it still is very painful to have someone reject you for this side of you that isn't something you can really control. But just because I have depression doesn't mean I cannot desire a partner whom I can talk to about my troubles.