[Aviza]

From feeling manic, to this. I was thinking about my younger successful brother, who hates the role shift. I used to have his back, look out for him, etc. Now I don't even want to face him.

Last time I saw him I see I aged him. It was Easter. He thought I was getting myself together, than this. He's tired of dealing with it. My response is me too, I don't get to walk away, this is my life.

I understand his frustration though, I don't listen. They see and know things I don't and I don't listen to their warnings.

I don't want to be 41, living with my mother. I didn't want to be 38 living with my mother. I want independence. Even working I can't seem to do it on my own. So I decided I need a relationship. Hence the con.

I dated a few guys, sex sucked, it was tolerable with my soon to ex. I've had better, but I'm not 20 anymore so it is what it is.

Instead of enhancing my life, like I was expecting a relationship to do, he destroyed it. Yeah if only I listened, problem was their "wisdom" came too late. I was already was in over my head financially. Didn't see a way out of the mess. Thought working with him would be easier than working on it alone. Wrong! My plan and his reality differ greatly.

[jaynedough]

Sorry things are so hard right now. I hope you get some relief soon.

[Skeezyks]