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#1
Oct 20, 2015, 03:04 PM
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I am 38. Will turn 39 in June 2016. My boyfriend is going to be 30 in s few days.
We are extremely happy and for both of us this seems like the very thing we were waiting for. However I have s nagging concern about our age gap. We are indifferent about having children. I wouldn't mind having them if my partner wanted them but also comfortable without. However I am afraid one day when he gets older he may feel differently and desire to have a family and I will no longer be able to have children. We discussed this and he said if I'm unable to have them in the future then we can adopt or go without. He said he can get s vasectomy as it is only fair that we both are unable. He assures he would not leave me. However vasectomies are reversible and I fouls hate to limit my loved one's options. And I think no one can give guarantees so far ahead into the future about how he may feel. Can someone recommend or suggest a way to resolve or deal with this situation. His words provide little to settle my worries. Thank you |
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#2
Oct 21, 2015, 02:28 AM
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Sounds like you have very little faith in your bf and your relationship.
I'm not sure what we can say or recommend to remedy that for you.... 
__________________
 DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD  "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
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#3
Oct 21, 2015, 06:40 AM
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The age gap is NOT something you should worry about. If you have open communication and he has expressed that having kids is not a deal breaker, then take him at his word.
As for the age gap. My mom met my step dad when she was 42 and he was 22. They have been married for 29 years. My step-dad expressed that he was happy with the family she had and that having a child for him was not necessary. Of course the age difference as you get older will be more noticable but if you have a loving, considerate, faithful partner who shows you affection and security then age won't matter. They are going to continue to love you til the end as they promised. If you are still questioning his words, then dig deeper. Why do you feel this way, does his actions say something different then his words? Best of luck! |
 Trippin2.0
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#4
Oct 21, 2015, 09:02 AM
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Quote:
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#5
Oct 21, 2015, 10:32 AM
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You're both indifferent about whether or not to have kids, I take it you were indifferent at his age too, no regrets.
So what makes you believe he'll change from indifferent to baby crazy in 10 years? Idk, I don't get people stressing about what ifs, its basically indirectly creating problems where there are none. You have a good relationship, you said so yourself, so why tarnish it with unnecessary worries over what your bf may or may not want a decade from now... He knows good and well there's a time limit for kids and he wants to be with you, hes not entering this relationship blindly. If it turns out he does want kids 15 years from now, he only has himself to blame. Enjoy your relationship as it is in the present. That's my advice.
__________________
DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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